Democrats Pledge To Work Five Days — Apparently Not In A Row

There’s an old joke by Steven Wright that goes like this:

One time I woke up in the middle of the night and I was hungry. I went to the convenience store and noticed it was closed. The sign said “Open 24 hours” and there was a guy locking the door. I said “Hey, your sign says you’re open 24 hours.” He said, “Not in a row!”

If there was ever a joke that applied to the new Democrat majority (aside from “the new Democrat majority”) it’s that one.

On January 4th of this year, Senate Majority Leader Harry Reid announced that Congress would be working longer hours, including expanding their workweek to five grueling days in a demonstration of solidarity with the rest of America. Those five grueling days are apparently, as Steven Wright said, not in a row.

The Democrats outlined their new hard-working plan so they could be more in tune with Joe Sixpack. Obviously Mr. Sixpack went to the Ohio State/Florida game, because Congress immediately took the Monday following Reid’s “bureaucratic nose to the grindstone” announcement off so a couple of them could attend the Fiesta Bowl. A few members of Congress heard the word “Tostitos” and that’s all it took. We should name every college post-season game “The Pork Bowl” and we’d not see Congress for the entire months of December and January.

Today, of course, is Martin Luther King day. Another day off. Next Monday is the anniversary of the day Ted Kennedy managed to get a sailboat inside of a bottle of Chivas — and it wasn’t even a model – so there will be another day off for that observance of that feat.

Now we’re approaching presidential campaign season, and some of the worst offenders will be busy doddering around in Iowa and New Hampshire, missing votes by the bushel while dragging along Hollywood celebrities for their coveted endorsements. Aren’t these the kind of flap-jawed, ivory-towered know-betters that people move to Iowa and New Hampshire to get away from?

At any rate, I’m starting to like this new, improved, hard working Congress. I hope they keep it up until they’re working so hard that they never show up for work.


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Author: Doug Powers

Doug Powers is a writer, editor and commentator covering news of the day from a conservative viewpoint with an occasional shot of irreverence and a chaser of snark. Townhall Media writer/editor. alum. Bowling novice. Long-suffering Detroit Lions fan. Contact: