Remember when New Orleans mayor Ray Nagin said that he wanted to make his city “chocolate” again?

Well, having a couple of Tinseltown cream-cheesers moving in is bound to slow the process. Brad Pitt, Angelina Jolie and kids have bought a home in the French Quarter.

But before Nagin gets too upset over the dashing of his all-chocolate dream, let’s do the math.

Pitt and Jolie are white, but they hang out in Africa a lot (.15 chocolate each), and Brad gets another .2 chocolate points for once playing a character named Joe Black. They have one biological child, who is white if you don’t count the tattoos but who also hangs out in Africa a lot and also likes to eat chocolate (.25 chocolate). Also, Jolie has two adopted children — one from Cambodia (.85 chocolate) and one from Ethiopia (full chocolate status on the Nagin choc-o-meter).

That’s five total people moving in, but the net chocolate loss is only 2.4 on the choc-o-meter. Nagin can get that 2.4 back easily. Heck, that’s exactly the net gain the Mayor would get if he could convince Madonna and her husband to move in after adopting just two more Africans and a Malaysian who once saw Booty Call. 

It could have been much worse, Mr. Mayor. Much worse.

Mayor Nagin reacts to reporters after being told of the caucasian infiltration


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