Joe "Howza Bouts a Shine, Boy?" Biden Strikes Again

Joe Biden, who as of now is a presidential candidate — at least until the first primary – has now been in so much hot water that his status on the ballot has been officially changed to “Teabag.”

The Delaware Senator’s latest emptying of the verbal bilge tanks was in describing Democratic rival Sen. Barack Obama as “the first mainstream African-American who is articulate and bright and clean.” Whoops! Even the Democrats lead Kleagle-eagle, Robert Byrd, must be saying to Biden, “bo– I say boyyy, what are you thinkin’?”

And all this time we’ve been told that liberals are the racially sensitive ones.

Biden said he’d used the word “clean” to describe Obama as “fresh and new” and didn’t mean any of it as an insult to past black presidential candidates, but Joe is nevertheless expected to offer a retraction at some point. The apology will probably contain the usual Biden charm, perhaps amending the “articulate, bright and clean” comment by telling reporters that Obama is in fact “inarticulate, dim and dirty.” Semi-sarsasm aside, I do fully expect that Biden will release a appeasement statement within a week that says something along the line of “some of my best friends are half black.”

Not long ago, Biden stepped in deep Kathmandoo-doo by saying that you can’t walk into a 7-11 or a donut shop in his state if you don’t have a slight Indian accent. This is a ridiculous statement — what about customer service call centers? At any rate, Biden ended up backpeddling like Lance Armstrong with broken brake cables careening down Filbert Street.

If Biden keeps stepping in it like this, even his lawn jockey won’t vote for him.

Obama, the Delaware Indian population, ex-black presidential candidates, and anybody else Biden may have offended, should be thankful for one thing, however: Anything is better than listening to Biden talk about how he’d rather be making love to his wife while the kids are asleep than on the campaign trail. Cringe if you like, but frankly, it’s nice to find a politician who’s interested in screwing more than just taxpayers.

There must be something in the air in D.C., because Ted Kennedy feels the same way. “Erra, I’d rathah be making love to Joe’s wife, too.”

So, look for Biden to try to make up ground with voters for all these faux-pas, perhaps by attempting to woo the Delaware Muslim community by reminding them how much he’s “brought home the bacon” to the state.

“Psst, Barack, for a black man, you smell terrific!


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Author: Doug Powers

Doug Powers is a writer, editor and commentator covering news of the day from a conservative viewpoint with an occasional shot of irreverence and a chaser of snark. Townhall Media writer/editor. alum. Bowling novice. Long-suffering Detroit Lions fan. Contact: