Hillary Goes After "Obscene Profits" — Cattle Futures Investment and Book Sales Windfall Oddly Excluded

Another liberal is trying to get her hands on somebody else’s money. This is nothing new, but with Hillary Clinton now running for president and Bill in tow, we’d better get used to it and keep one eye on our wallets and the other on our wives.

In the wake of the announcement of Exxon’s record setting profits in ’06, Hillary Clinton is seeking, yet again, what amounts to a “windfall profits tax” on big oil, though I’ve noticed they’ve tried to avoid using that term this time around. She says the money would go to — well, does it really matter? The government would have it. You know what happens after that. The next time we see the cash is on the back of a milk carton.

The big stink really started back in 2005, when the price of a gallon of gas was as high as a mouse trapped in Willie Nelson’s tour bus. A congressional committee was formed to grill big oil execs. The panel was headed up in part by the Massachusetts duet of Kennedy and Kerry — respectively, a former admiral in the Olds Navy whose family made their fortune running rum during prohibition, and a gigolo – and they somehow managed to sit in judgment of what constitutes “profiteering” without compunction-induced blushing, though the gin blossoms on Teddy did brighten a bit.

At the November 2005 hearings, California Sen. Barbara Boxer was so up in arms that you’d have though those oil execs were trying to talk somebody out of a late-term abortion. Robert Byrd was shocked because he hadn’t squared off with such greedy white men since the time he was in arrears on his Klan dues.

Even “Republicans,” such as Pennsylvania’s Arlen Specter — who makes watching paint dry seem like it should be a sport in the X-Games, but nevertheless manages to exude split-atom energy when it comes to cheerleading for bad ideas — called for a windfall profits tax on the oil companies.

And now it’s 2007, the election season is heating up, and it’s candidate Hillary’s turn to shine by wowing voters with her pickpocket skills.

I wish everybody would have been in the “tax big profits” mood back when Hillary Clinton put merely $1,000 into cattle futures, and magically turned it into $100,000. I’d be willing to bet that’s a bigger return on investment than even Exxon could pull off. And how much did Hillary make off her book, “It takes a village to indoctrinate a child”? How much did Bill make off “My Life,” the first book in history to weigh more than its readers. 

How about a “windfall profits tax” on the Clintons? If anybody ever proposes this in proximity to the Clintons, I’d suggest they be wearing a helmet.

All I can say in defense of big oil profits is this: The big oil folks must be doing some hard work to earn all that money. What makes me say this? Because if there were that much money in it, and it was easy, Ted Kennedy, Hillary Clinton, Barbara Boxer and John Kerry would be in the oil business instead of politics – in that case we’d all win.


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Author: Doug Powers

Doug Powers is a writer, editor and commentator covering news of the day from a conservative viewpoint with an occasional shot of irreverence and a chaser of snark. Townhall Media writer/editor. MichelleMalkin.com alum. Bowling novice. Long-suffering Detroit Lions fan. Contact: WriteDoug@Live.com.