Transfer Gitmo Prisoners To House Democrat Offices For Safe Keeping

Virginia Representative Jim Moran wants to take some of the most dangerous people on the planet from another country and put them in your back yard. Check me if I’m wrong, but this is the opposite of how this “war on terror” stuff is supposed to work, isn’t it? The operative theory for Moran being, “if you can’t take the ACLU to them, bring them to the ACLU.”

Moran wants the remaining 385-ish Guantanamo Bay prisoners sent to military prisons in the states:

“It sets us back in the war on terrorism to be maintaining Guantanamo,” said Rep. Jim Moran (D-Va.), who’s heading an investigation of the facility for the House Defense Appropriations Subcommittee.

“It will enhance our reputation to close it down and to apply our system of justice to all of these detainees,” he added.

So it looks like Gitmo prisoners might get here in time to get in on all that “big tobacco” lawsuit cash after all.

Complaints about Gitmo are nothing new. Just last year, the United Nations urged the United States to close the prison. The U.N. didn’t answer one question though: once the United States closes Gitmo, what do we do with the prisoners? According to the United Nations, the United States can’t send them home because the Committee Against Torture also said detainees should not be returned to any country where they could face a “real risk” of being tortured.

A “real risk” of being tortured? I thought prisoners were already being tortured at Gitmo? One prisoner reported that he was humiliated by being stripped naked, forced to bark like a dog, and subjected to loud music. Alleged Gitmo recreations of Elton John’s wedding reception aside, the question arises that, if detainees shouldn’t be held by the United States, and they can’t be sent home, then what?

Rep. Moran has filled in the blank and recommended bringing them to the good ol’ U.S. of A.

The entire goal for the left is, of course, one of “justice.” Your right to breath places a distant second.

If it’s justice we’re after, why not just house the Gitmo prisoners in Representative Moran’s office until we straighten this whole mess out? Former prisoners can seek emotional counseling for their past abuse, have ready access to ACLU lawyers, and take comfort in the knowledge that the new eco-friendly 1/16th gallon-per-flush toilets in the Capitol building aren’t anywhere near powerful enough to flush a Koran down.

Democrats needn’t worry about U.S. forces coming to re-abduct the former prisoners, either, because my plan includes locking them in the buildings with all DNC personnel so the terror suspects will be safe. I can’t vouch for the safety of the DNC personnel, however.

Moran also said, “But you’ve got to distinguish among these people. We have to prove they actually did something that was designed to hurt American citizens.”

How do we do that? By putting them near lots more American citizens and seeing what happens, obviously. Hey, I’m all for it, so long as the only Americans the prisoners are exposed to are their Democrat friends in the House and Senate.

We’ve reached an interesting point in our country’s development, or lack thereof. History may record this as a time when some Americans believed that the only way to determine if an external entity was desirous of eliminating every single right we have as Americans — including the right to live — was to grant that entity access to every single right we have as Americans. What could possibly go wrong?

Author: Doug Powers

Doug Powers is a writer, editor and commentator covering news of the day from a conservative viewpoint with an occasional shot of irreverence and a chaser of snark. Townhall Media writer/editor. alum. Bowling novice. Long-suffering Detroit Lions fan. Contact: