Diagnosis Amnesia: Treatment Required For Democrat Memory Loss Over U.S. Attorney Firings

It’s been said that the herbal supplement ginkgo biloba can help ease the ravages of memory loss and other cognitive disorders. I’m thinking about planning a fundraiser so as to have the means to purchase a hundred truckloads of ginkgo biloba in powder form, and sending it to Washington, DC, where it will be sprinkled on all the food, drink, and, most importantly money, in the city. Why?

Attorney General Gonzalez fired eight U.S. Attorneys this week. The Democrat freak-out was immediate, loud and annoying — I mean, worse than usual. Now some Republicans are now getting on board in calling for Gonzalez’s firing.

Democrats and some Republicans are saying that the firings were politically motivated. In Washington, DC? Gee, do ya think so? Pointing out that anything that happens in Washington, DC is “politically motivated” is like saying that the crowd in an Old Country Buffet is “hunger motivated” — it’s redundant and as obvious as Valerie Plame’s undercover status.

Judging from the reaction of politicians and the mainstream media, you’d think this was the worst thing to happen in Washington since — well, the previous thing.

Outside the Beltway, Alan Dershowitz thinks Gonzalez’s firings, all approved by the President, sets a horrible and scary precedent:

The very idea that the Bush White House would have seriously considered sacking every single United States attorney and replacing them with political cronies and partisan hacks who could be counted on to go after Democrats and spare Republicans is frightening.

What did we hear from Democrats when Bill Clinton had Janet “why’s that guy going into the women’s restroom?” Reno fire all U.S. Attorneys — all 93 of them? We heard nothing except the sound of crickets and ice rattling in Ted Kennedy’s Chivas tumbler. It wasn’t a big deal back then, but Democrats don’t seem to remember. Such memory loss is tragic and all too common in Washington.

It would appear that the difference between “aw gee, that’s just how politics is played” and a “constitutional crisis” depends on the political party of the protagonist. Moreover, those who participate in this perpetuation are usually the very people claiming to be appalled that whatever it is they’re demagoging happened for “partisan political reasons.” If Washington, DC is good for only one thing, it’s a laugh.

As for Dershowitz, he conveniently can’t seem to recall an event in the early 90’s that was more severe tenfold, but I’ll bet he can rattle off the names and phone numbers of clients who stiffed him on legal bills.

For those specific instances of selective memory loss syndrome, this is where the ginkgo biloba comes in.

In addition to the ginkgo, we’ll put some Fosamax on the truck to help with Alberto Gonzalez’s loss of backbone. Gonzalez put on the wool coat gifted him by Democrats and marched right into the sheep slaughterhouse when he apologized to all U.S. Attorneys. The apology went to all attorneys, presumably with the exception of the eight he fired, who were most likely already sitting at a bar next to a double vodka tonic and a cardboard box full of pictures, thumbtacks, legal pads, pencils and a swiped stapler.

Democrats are right. Gonzalez should go, but not for the reasons Democrats say he should go. Gonzalez should resign or be fired because he took the bait without batting an eye. Every time a non-Democrat gets up in the morning it’s a “scandal,” but to apologize for a relative non-issue requires a sucker who should be wearing a Tootsie-Pop wrapper instead of a suit.

At any rate, amnesia treatment is quickly needed so we can look back at the Clinton Administration and remember that this is, especially by comparison, not that big a deal.

If Hillary is elected president I’ll be looking for medicine that causes memory loss. And if anybody thinks that there will be a single current U.S. Attorney left standing after that day, I’ve got some Castle Grande property to sell them.

Author: Doug Powers

Doug Powers is a writer, editor and commentator covering news of the day from a conservative viewpoint with an occasional shot of irreverence and a chaser of snark. Townhall Media writer/editor. MichelleMalkin.com alum. Bowling novice. Long-suffering Detroit Lions fan. Contact: WriteDoug@Live.com.