Not long ago I started reading an article about a school that banned Legos. At first I thought it might be because they were discovered to contain trans-fats or emit second-hand smoke, but the reason was a little more Marxist than that.

My kids play with Legos on a fairly consistent basis, but little did I realize that the little interlocking colorful hunks of building plastic are actually teaching children about the evils of private property ownership. Cool!

So after I went out and purchased a few more tubs of the greedy capitalist-creating blocks — tools of the “vast right wing conspiracy” no doubt (this has Halliburton’s fingerprints all over it) — I went back and finished the article:

A ban was initiated at the Hilltop Children’s Center in Seattle. According to an article in the winter 2006-07 issue of “Rethinking Schools” magazine, the teachers at the private school wanted their students to learn that private property ownership is evil.

According to the article, the students had been building an elaborate “Legotown,” but it was accidentally demolished. The teachers decided its destruction was an opportunity to explore “the inequities of private ownership.” According to the teachers, “Our intention was to promote a contrasting set of values: collectivity, collaboration, resource-sharing, and full democratic participation.”

Not to mention the demolished Legotown was the perfect chance to show the kids what a city run by socialists and communists ends up looking like.

But, alas, after months of indoctrination by the feel-good Gestapo, the evil toys were allowed back in the presence of the students, with some caveats:

Legos returned to the classroom after the children agreed to several guiding principles framed by the teachers, including that “All structures are public structures” and “All structures will be standard sizes.” The teachers quote the children:

“A house is good because it is a community house.”

“We should have equal houses. They should be standard sizes.”

“It’s important to have the same amount of power as other people over your building.”

“Equal”? “The same”? “Standard”? Aren’t these the same types of bilge-tanks on the SS Chomsky who constantly harp on about “we’re like snowflakes, we’re all different” while Peter, Paul & Mary plays on a potato-powered radio in their Prius? If they are, it ends there.

The architects of “equal power” movements always make sure of one thing: Their amount of power is way more equal than yours — and if you don’t believe me, try getting this school to meet you halfway on changing its curriculum.

As AL Gore’s copy of the liberal dictionary teaches us, “we” is always defined as “you, not me.”

I’m off now to help my kids build a Lego unemployment office, a privately owned building of course, where we’ll pretend that “educators” such as these are standing in a Lego unemployment line until the second coming of Lego Lenin.


By banning everything personally threatening to the environment, social welfare and teachers unions, educators are better able to teach students what makes this country great: freedom


One Response to “Lego: The Preferred Toy of Evil Capitalists”

  1. Jeremie Jordan on March 29th, 2007 6:14 am

    Little did I know when I was playing Lego Star Wars II on the Xbox with my son, was really giving him a lesson in the evil ways of capitalism and not how to crush the whiny rebel alliance.

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