John Edwards: Suspicious Package

Yet another suspicious package containing a powdery substance has been sent to John Edwards (aka “The Breck Girl” aka “Silky Pony”):

Postal employees in Chapel Hill intercepted a package Thursday addressed to Democratic presidential candidate John Edwards after they found the letter contained a powdery substance, authorities said.

My theory? A shipment of Soufflé facial foundation from Pink Sapphire:

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Fortunately, Edwards wasn’t there at the time the package would have arrived, as he was in an intense yoga class with Russell Simmons.

Edwards is expected to release a statement to the press as soon as he’s ready:

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Author: Doug Powers

Doug Powers is a writer, editor and commentator covering news of the day from a conservative viewpoint with an occasional shot of irreverence and a chaser of snark. Townhall Media writer/editor. MichelleMalkin.com alum. Bowling novice. Long-suffering Detroit Lions fan. Contact: WriteDoug@Live.com.