This is the day we salute those with one of the most difficult jobs in the world: Moms.

Most of us have jobs we deem as “important.” Some go off every day and sell widgets to the widgetless, some spend the day making burgers and fries, defending this great nation in the military, driving trucks, or topless dancing in a club to Joe Cocker’s “You Can Leave Your Hat On” while speaking loudly over the music, “Your usual table, Mr. Clinton?” These are important jobs, but all still pale in comparison to the most important career in the world — trying to make sure the next generation isn’t exceedingly stupid due to lack of parental attention — and that’s where fathers and mothers come in.

Our culture has now, unfortunately, belly-flopped into the intellectually and emotionally stagnant waters of day care, latchkey kids and just plain no supervision whatsoever. Hillary’s “It Takes a Village to Raise a Child” bunk becomes even more nonsensical when you take into account the fact that a great deal of “the village” consists of helium-headed, directionless people who had the needle torn from their moral compass as children because their parents were dumb enough to rely on “the village” to raise their kids for them in the first place. If you weren’t one of those kids, then your mother did her job, so today is the day to thank her.

On this Mother’s Day and all the days surrounding, I salute you moms for bravely taking on the most daunting tasks — often with nary a “thank you” — and helping kids maintain good posture in what can be a morally invertebrate society.

Now finish your milk… and stand up straight!


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