Fresh from the “Fiery hell that awaits us unless we vote for environmentalist Democrats” file:
A new report that is out for absolutely no reason other than liberal nerdfreak over programmed computer model results speculates that if the Midwest climate gets warmer, the sunflowers that Kansas is famous for might move up north, leaving them with state border signs that look like this: Welcome to Kansas, the
The National Wildlife Federation’s report pulls off the common tactic of describing what might happen if the temperature rises consistently over the next hundred years, but neither describes any such temperature rise, or even the disappearance of any sunflowers — the latter of which I’d be more inclined to blame tornadoes than global warming.
Here’s how the story closes: The Wildlife Federation report said the Missouri state tree and flowerÃ¢â‚¬â€the flowering dogwood and the white hawthorn blossomÃ¢â‚¬â€are not endangered. Well, what a relief, especially after reading several frightening paragraphs about the Kansas sunflowers — which aren’t endangered either.
What other alarmist headlines might we see if the temperatures rise (or even if they don’t)?
Entire population to be living on Antarctica
Heat to cause throng of people to seek relief in Hillary proximity
U.N. report: People will catch fire
Air conditioner manufacturer stock skyrockets, everybody else sweaty and miserable
Al Gore sworn in
By the way, has anybody yet blamed the hoards of illegals pouring over the border from the south on global warming? If not, the alarmists are missing a huge opportunity. I’m surprised Ted Kennedy & Company haven’t defended themselves from critics of the amnesty plan by claiming it to be a humanitarian move to save lives from man made global warming by assisting fellow human beings in their greenhouse gas induced migration to cooler, albeit sunflower free, climates.
By the time this happens, the sunflowers will no doubt have moved up to North Dakota to become “undocumented pollen producers.”
So much global warming alleged data is based on “computer models.” Beware the computer model. For example, there are computer models that had the Detroit Lions going to the Super Bowl in past decades.
Wait a minute. It must be that the Lions haven’t made it to the Super Bowl because of… global warming? Hey, I think I get it now.