Monthly Archives: June 2007

U.S. Airport Security Heightened Due To Glasgow Attack

Yet another attack that wasn’t carried out to its full intent:

Two men rammed a flaming sport utility vehicle into the main terminal of Glasgow airport Saturday, crashing into the glass doors at the entrance and sparking a fire, witnesses said. Police said two suspects were arrested.

Authorities were slow to respond because the Scots thought it was just another soccer riot, but it wasn’t.

As a result, if you’re traveling by air in the coming days, your week probably just got a little worse because security inside and outside most airports is being cranked up.

Michael Vick, are you paying attention?

Roseanne Barr, Dichotomedian

One can only hope that actress Rosie Perez comes out and calls for the impeachment of Bush, because the Rosie trifecta for the week would then be complete and anybody who bet on it would win an autographed copy of “One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest.”

I always enjoy some lighter material for the weekend, and you’d have to be looking at the price tag on an empty styrofoam beer cooler to find any lighter reading than Roseanne Barr’s blog.

Roseanne must have felt left out lately, because she’s calling, again, for the impeachment of Bush and Cheney. Yeah, a tired mantra to be sure, especially since Bush is out of office late next year anyway, but the odds that Roseanne realizes that are as slim as Barbra Streisand’s chances to win next year’s national spelling bee.

Roseanne has called for Bush’s impreachment for a long time, but now she really means it, because her plea IS NOW IN ALL CAPITAL LETTERS!! AND HAS LOTS AND LOTS OF EXCLAMATION MARKS!!!!!!

If history proves anything, it’s that calls for impeachment in lower-case rarely take hold, so all-caps and punctuation overkill is a brilliant tactic on Roseanne’s part and really needs to be tried by more people.

Barr’s blog shifts gears more than a big-rig trucker on Lombard Street, but at least Roseanne offers equal opportunity bashing of politicians, which I’m not necessarily against.

An example of the gear shifting:

IMPEACH THE PRESIDENT AND THE VICE PRESIDENT, THEY ARE TRAITORS TO AMERICA, AND SO ARE ALL OF THEIR SUPPORTERS. IMPEACH! ANYONE IN CONGRESS WHO REFUSES TO SAVE OUR UNION FROM THESE TRAITORS BY DOING NOTHING NEEDS TO BE RECALLED. SAVE OUR TROOPS!!! SAVE OUR SCHOOLS AND HOSPITALS AND JOBS. FEED OUR HUNGRY AND POOR! SAVE THE DROWNING PEOPLE IN NEW ORLEANS! ANYONE WHO MENTIONS PARIS HILTON ONE MORE TIME MUST DIE!

Is followed the same day by:

I love roasted garlic with wine and crackers so much its insane!!!

Yes it is.

By the way, if you need help with impeachment, saving schools and hospitals, feeding the hungry and poor, saving the drowning or killing anybody who mentions Paris Hilton, don’t ask Roseanne because she’ll be performing in Vegas for a while.

And then there’s the dichotomy. Here’s an example from mid-June:

Jesus is laughing at our feeble excuses to keep hating other people.

A couple of weeks later:

obama is a sell out, and hilary is a union buster…f&*k both of them!

Enough of this. I’m going to check out what Paris Hilton’s been up to. Did you see Paris being interviewed by Larry King? The conversation couldn’t have gotten any more vacuous if it were conducted in a black hole filled with Oreck XL’s. It was like watching Ed Sullivan trying to interview the Beatles after all parties involved had undergone botched lobotomies.

Oops, was I talking about Paris Hilton, wasn’t I? Sorry Roseanne. Don’t kill me, peace lover.

Ahmadinejad Getting Stone'd

The part of the movie where Mahmoud plots with gay undercover CIA agent coke-snorting Castro sympathizers (along with Rosie O’Donnell’s kid) to assassinate the Shah should alone be worth the price of admission to this flick:

According to one foreign report, filmmaker Oliver Stone’s next movie subject might well be Iranian President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad…

…The Iranian Student News Agency said today Stone’s project would be a profile of the president who has called for Israel to be destroyed. Permission is being sought to move forward with the project.

“The request was made some three months ago. Stone is a professional filmmaker on social and political issues,” Alireza Sajjadpour, an Iranian film director, told ISNA.

Stone’s film is expected to be followed closely by the release of Michael Moore’s expose on the Iranian health care system, “Sheiko!”

Ahmadinejad Getting Stone’d

The part of the movie where Mahmoud plots with gay undercover CIA agent coke-snorting Castro sympathizers (along with Rosie O’Donnell’s kid) to assassinate the Shah should alone be worth the price of admission to this flick:

According to one foreign report, filmmaker Oliver Stone’s next movie subject might well be Iranian President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad…

…The Iranian Student News Agency said today Stone’s project would be a profile of the president who has called for Israel to be destroyed. Permission is being sought to move forward with the project.

“The request was made some three months ago. Stone is a professional filmmaker on social and political issues,” Alireza Sajjadpour, an Iranian film director, told ISNA.

Stone’s film is expected to be followed closely by the release of Michael Moore’s expose on the Iranian health care system, “Sheiko!”

What Happened to the Democrats?

Remember all the pomp and circumstance surrounding the Democrat takeover of both the House and Senate? How excited they were because, finally, things would change.

Speaker Pelosi was cranked up and ready for battle with the Republicans — her facelift set at DefCon-5. The Senate was ready to take advantage of their slim margin and use every ounce of their political skill and media pull to keep the fact that an ex-Klansman was third in line for the presidency from making headlines, while at the same time having the gall to keep calling Republicans racist.

Now, mere months later, judging by all the outrage from the left over all sorts of various disappointments, you’d think we were back to the heyday of the Gingrich revolution in the mid-90’s. What happened?

All in one day — yesterday — Kennedy’s Immigration Deform Bill sank like a ’69 Oldsmobile. An angered Kennedy then asked what we would do with the 12 million illegals. “Send them to Hyannis Port” is an option that I assume is off the table.

Then in the House, a bill to prohibit the Federal Communications Commission from using taxpayer dollars to impose the Fairness Doctrine yet again passed 309-115. It’ll be tough for Democrats to “even the playing field” of talk radio when they can’t even get other Democrats on the bulldozer.

One problem for the Democrats is evidenced by the Immigration Deform Bill. It’s no secret that Democrats have been trying to bring down Bush since he and the Mrs. were measuring for curtains in the Oval Office. Congressional Democrats have been trying to sink the president at every opportunity. They’ve called him vile names, they’ve accused him of crimes, and they’ve questioned his intellect and common sense.

Then many Democrats, not to mention some Republicans, agreed with Bush on an issue and wanted us to believe, for one shining moment, that Bush — the man they’ve spent the last few years telling us was wrong at every turn — was right. So, in essence, the Democrats got Bush in a political death-spiral and then had to jump on the plane with him just before it hit the ground. This should be a lesson for politicians of the future, but chances are it won’t be.

Democrats are also finding that they’re a bit like the Republicans — even when they’re in control, they can’t maintain control. That’s about the only truly bipartisan trait in Washington these days.

All in all, Teddy and company have had a bad week. I think they were happier in the minority, don’t you? It’s tougher to play the victim when you’re in the majority, and that’s what they’re best at.

Problem:

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Solution:

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Pay No Attention to the Senator Behind the Curtain!

Thanks to today’s vote, the Immigration Deform Bill is pretty much dead in the Senate.

The massive uprising of ticked-off American voices (which shut down the Senate switchboard today) directed at many formerly cushy and comfortable, heretofore untouchable and pristine, self-perceived monarchs in the Senate left a mark, and some of them are pissed! Ted Kennedy, one of the sponsors of the bill, is just one example. After the vote, Ted’s cheeks were so red that they almost matched his nose.

But is Teddy angry because of the defeat of what he thinks is a good idea, or does it go deeper? My personal belief is that the curtain has been pulled back on the wizard, and there’s no closing it now.

Millions of Americans were angry that a collection of geezers, slimeballs, back-alley deal makers, weasels, wimps and “all of the above” were agreeing to sell out the country to cover their dereliction of duty in protecting the borders. The reason the problem exists is precisely because of people like Ted Kennedy, and now Ted’s aware that millions of people know it.

Kennedy might also be aware that Joe Sixpack is wondering what other problems are perpetuated by those politicians who, when the time comes to settle up for the disaster they have caused, will suddenly attempt to champion the “fix” for the problem. I can only quote Albert Einstein: “You can’t solve a problem with the same mind that created it.” You shouldn’t try to drive across a bridge with that mind, either.

Nice try Senator, but the jig is up and the curtain is pulled.

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“Pay no attention to the Senator behind the curtain! I’m glad Motha Rose isn’t here to see this. Erra, I’d swear this bottle of Chivas was half-full this morning…”

John Edwards: The Only Thing We Have To Fear Is, Coulter Herself!

nullThey’re a threat to our way of life and even our very existence. They’re a stain on the very concept of freedom and liberty and must be rooted out and exterminated. They have no place in civilized or even uncivilized society.

Terrorists? Good heavens no — Ann Coulter, Fox News and conservative talk hosts.

Presidential Candidate John Edwards (pictured above left) has done a great service for us in this election cycle by making Americans ask themselves one question: Do we want a complete and utter whiny candy-ass in the White House who doesn’t believe in a war on terror but does believe in a war on conservative commentators? If the answer is “yes,” then God help us — but on the bright side we’ll be able to use some of our big tobacco settlement windfall to pay for our funerals.

Take a look at this video of Edwards whining about his critics, in particular Ann Coulter. John’s upset because of the smears, but any medical professional will tell you that it’s healthy for every pussy to get a Pap once in a while.

I’m all for civilized politics across-the-board, but seriously, if all the presidential candidates were passengers on the Titanic and just heard “women and children first,” Edwards is the one putting on a cocktail dress, stuffing the shirt with a couple of cantaloupes, placing a baby bonnet on a giant salami and heading for the lifeboats. Hillary, of course, is the iceberg, and John McCain’s the one trying to figure out a way to tax the radio operator’s airwave usage.

Nobody points to the left wing’s version of Ann Coulter and cries foul. That’s because the left doesn’t have one — they have hundreds — maybe even thousands or tens of thousands. I don’t know if Edwards pays attention to what’s said about President Bush on any given day, but I can assure him that it’s a little harsher than what’s lobbed at him by Ann Coulter and Rush Limbaugh.

John’s wife Elizabeth has now taken over the heavy lifting for her husband, as the former Senator was dangerously close to coif-fatigue over all this so he’s now using his wife as a human shield. I’ve noticed that even John’s hair is starting to weep. Somebody get Pink Sapphire on the phone, stat!

Elizabeth Edwards called a talk show on which Coulter was appearing and asked her to stop the personal attacks. The Edwards’ fear Coulter so much you’d think Ann was their wacky, right-wing gun-toting neighbor. John Edwards followed up Elizabeth’s plea by calling in and echoing his wife’s sentiments, and then asked the audience to call him if they’ve ever suffered a neck injury from an improperly deployed passenger-side airbag.

Edwards wetting himself over Ann Coulter’s comments comes hot on the heels of his boycotting of any debate sponsored by Fox News. And he wants us to elect him president?

A presidential candidate gets who’s clearly afraid a scrawny blonde columnist and a cable television network probably isn’t the best equipped to protect the nation from Iran, Al Qaeda, Kim Jong Il or any other threat — but dammit, he’ll have shown Fox News, Ann Coulter and the rest of America who’s scared!

John Edwards takes many positions, but lately the position he seems to take most is the fetal one. This, along with a campaign slogan of “Tresemme, ooh la la,” will hopefully be enough to keep Edwards out of the Oval Office and send him back to bump-drafting ambulances on the streets of North Carolina where he belongs.

Everything You Know Is Wrong

This morning I received this email that was sent to my WorldNetDaily address and it was too good not to pass along. I’ve read about this before but it’s always worth another glance.

Proof of Geocentric Correctness
(that is, The Earth is NOT Moving! )

Facts: by Marshall Hall

– There is NO proof that the Earth rotates on an “axis” daily and orbits the sun annually. None.

– All calculations for eclipses, the space program, navigation, satellite movements – anything that demands precision and accuracy – are based on a non-moving Earth. Boiled down, heliocentric math is the same as Geocentric math.

– No experiment has shown the Earth to be moving (much less at 30 times rifle bullet speed in solar orbit and at 250 times RBS around a galaxy. One would think such speeds would flap one’s collar a little even if the “science” establishment says no!)

– Multiple experiments have shown the Earth to be stationary.

– Revisionist history reveals the roles that Copernicus, Kepler, Galileo, Newton, Einstein, Sagan et al have played in foisting this lie on mankind.

– The logic against a moving Earth is overpowering.

– World-class astronomer Sir Fred Hoyle said take your pick between the two models…

– Copernicanism paved the way for Darwinism which then spawned Marxism, Freudism, Einsteinism and Saganism.)

– Star speeds are not a problem when the thickness of the universe is seen to be what it really is, that is, less than
half a light day thick (eight billion mile radius).

– NASA’s space program is labelled “Origins Research” and costs taxpayers mega-bucks. Computerized telescopes are programmed to send back “synthesized images”. The “image warper” permits “geometric transformations” while “origins technology… configures the multiple small mirrors…” in these telescopes. Talk about a con job!

– The Bible says The Earth is NOT moving and cannot be moved. What’ll it be folks? False science as the source of absolute truth… or God’s Word?

Here’s his website. He’s not alone in the belief that Copernicus was an snake-oil salesman with a telescope though. There’s these people and these people who believe the Earth is fixed… and apparently dilated.

Rosie O. Leads Jihad Against Sanity

It’s all too rare that many of us get a chance to thank those who take up arms to protect us from all the crazies in the world. I’m referring, of course, to Rosie O’Donnell’s daughter.

Rosie’s jihad against sanity has been apparent for quite some time, and we all know she’s long overdue for a lengthy stay under the tender care of Nurse Ratchet at Our Lady of Swatting at Imaginary Flies, but now even her kid is arming herself:

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O’Donnell explained the publicity stu…er, I mean, political statement, this way in an email:

“They don’t watch TV – this is how they play/the boys had fatigues and were playing war/the girls wanted some/they run around the house with water guns/shooting each other.”

“It’s fascinating to me/that an image of a child dressed up as a soldier/evokes so much attention/yet the real soldiers – their deaths – their wounded bodies/doesn’t seem to faze most/or make news,” she added.

It’s fascinating/to me that/somebody can use/the “/” key so/ much in one/ letter.

Rosie thinks the girl is dressed up as a soldier? I doubt a professionally trained soldier would wear the bandoleer with the bullets pointing at her neck, but there’s no need to be picky here.

If I posted a picture of my kid wearing fake ammo and holding a gun, how long would it take O’Donnell and her hypocritical troupe of armed gun control supporters to call Child Protective Services? You’re only allowed to do that if you’re against guns and all wars (file under “Huh?”).

The child probably got those bullets from the gun control advocate’s armed bodyguard.

Yep, O’Donnell wants to ban guns — for you and me. Doesn’t it seem to be the case that gun bans are almost always proposed by politicians, vacuous dunderheaded Hollywood actors and cellulite-brained daytime talk-show hosts like Rosie O’Donnell who employ armed bodyguards? They want you to believe they care deeply about your well-being, but the only point their actions convey is that their asses are worth saving, and yours isn’t.

Besides, isn’t protesting war by dressing your kid up in guns and ammo sort of like a PETA member protesting Burger King by dressing Junior up as a Whopper?

Rosie should consider herself lucky that they don’t make straight jackets that big.

El Senado Está Loco

Ted Kennedy must be ear-to-ear gin blossoms today, and Bush is probably feeling fantabulous as well. Why? Because they’re helping do a job most Americans don’t want to do — because that job is so stupid.

The Senate just took a procedural vote, and the resuscitated Immigration Reform Bill is still alive, increasing the likelihood that it could ultimately pass on to the House. The vote was 64-35 in favor of keeping it breathing.

As near as I’ve been able to tell, since the stated goal would be to legalize 12 million illegals followed by “securing the border,” the Immigration Reform Bill will therefore consist of two steps:

Step 1) Inform everybody that if they haul ass to the U.S. and get in illegally fairly soon, they’ll be granted legal status and won’t even owe any back taxes if they earn some money in the meantime.

Step 2) Build a big wall.

Huh? I guess we’ll be locking everybody in. Good plan.

I prefer Janet Folger’s proposal, which is for the government to lead by example and make the White House and Congressional offices just as insecure as the occupants of those places have made the rest of the country. Won’t happen. Why? You guessed it — because it’s stupid, and they only do stupid if they’re isolated from the results.

Update: Here’s Ann Coulter’s take on it all. Sorta sums it up nicely.