Smoking: Do It For The Children

Don’t you smokers hate it when you’re just trying to save the lives of children and people treat you like a second-class citizen? Stuff like this never ceases to crack me up:

The Bush administration said that senior advisers would recommend the president veto Senate legislation that would substantially increase funds for children’s health insurance.

The legislation calls for a 61-cent increase in the federal excise tax on a pack of cigarettes. The revenue would be used to subsidize health insurance for children and some adults with incomes too high to qualify for Medicaid — the government health insurance program for the poor — but not enough to afford insurance on their own.

So, don’t sign it and you hate children, do sign it and you love emphysema. Leave it to the government to hinge the future of some of our children on cigarettes and then take away all of our smoking areas.

We can in fact realize Michael Moore and Hillary’s dream of “national health care.” It’s staggers the imagination how many lives we could save if we’d only legalize drugs and prostitution and tax it along with cigarettes, booze and gambling.

The government could save a little of that money to run ads telling people not to drink, do drugs, smoke, be sluts, and where they can get help with their gambling addiction (though those anti-smoking ads seem to be, perhaps by cunning design, actually encouraging kids to smoke — which is a no-brainer because how will the next generation of kids have health care unless this generation of kids start smoking?).

The rest of the money would ensure that those of us who did indeed care about the children would have our liver transplants, lung cancer surgeries, STD treatments and drug and gambling rehabs 100% covered.

This all reminds me of a story I wrote about a while back. It happened right here in Michigan, but it deserves repeating because it highlights the insane mindset of government bureaucrats.

Back when gas prices were really high (the first time), Governor Granholm was asking everybody to sign a petition on the state’s website to get gasoline prices down and hit the “obscene” profits of oil companies. She forgot to mention that the state of Michigan pension system held 12.8 million shares of Exxon-Mobil worth $832 million.

In essence, Granholm was convincing state workers to sign on to demand a devaluation of their own pensions. Many did.

The government can always be counted on for a laugh.

Now go and light up. Do it for the children.

Author: Doug Powers

Doug Powers is a writer, editor and commentator covering news of the day from a conservative viewpoint with an occasional shot of irreverence and a chaser of snark. Townhall Media writer/editor. alum. Bowling novice. Long-suffering Detroit Lions fan. Contact: