Three quick stories to cover this morning as we Americans celebrate Labor Day by doing no labor whatsoever.
Don’t Judge the Clintons Until You Walk a Mile in Their Hsus
Bill Clinton was shocked — shocked I tell you — that Norman Hsu, a major Hillary donor, turned out to be a wanted felon:
“You could have knocked me over with a straw, especially when I heard the L.A. people had been allegedly looking for him for 15 years when he was in plain view,” he told Newsday while touring a county fair in rural New Hampshire Sunday.
Bill Clinton hasn’t been knocked over with a straw since he startled brother Roger by sneaking up behind him in the laundry room of his single-wide while he was hunched over a mirror.
I’m the opposite of Bill. I would have been shocked if Hsu wasn’t a felon.
From the Clooney bin:
Actor George Clooney says that Barack Obama is like a rock star.
This makes my decision easy. I can’t think of any rock stars that I want to be president either. Thanks George.
Take care of your health or we’ll kill you!
Finally, John Edwards has released the details of his health care plan, which includes mandatory doctor visits. You will be healthy and happy, or you will go to jail where you’ll be beaten and sodomized!
Abortions will be covered as well. What’s more preventative than preventing human beings from growing up? A comprehensive plan indeed, Mr. Edwards.
Fortunately, Edwards is easily distracted. Watch this…
“Hey John, you have a hair out of place.”
“What? Hand me the compact!”
There. That’ll keep him busy for hours.