Calling All Orkin Progressives

On one of the Sunday morning news programs that I watch to bide my time until kickoff, I heard yet another liberal describe himself as “progressive.”

“Progressive” is a word thrown about by those attempting to tag folks who disagree with their wants and whims as backwards, old fashioned, uneducated simpletons who are more than content with factory pollution and separate drinking fountains for blacks and whites (I’ve been to concerts where I wished there were separate bathrooms for conservatives and liberals, but I digress).

A “progressive” is, of course, one engaged in the promotion of “progress.” This is where the subjective meaning of the word runs away with itself.

Simply put, a colony of termites would consider themselves “progressives.” After all, they’re making constant progress on their assigned chore. To the homeowner, however, this is anything but “progress.”

As my wife and I discovered in a previous home we owned that had a termite problem, the Orkin man can make progress as well. We got rid of the termites, but it required constant maintenance to keep them away.

Based on this, I propose that we conservatives start referring to ourselves as a variation of “progressive” as well. “Orkin progressives.” And if we can get Orkin to sponsor us, all the better — this is no time to lose our capitalist instinct.

The left can’t be allowed sole proprietorship of the word “progress” and co-opt the definition. If we let them, the house that was once America will soon be a pile of sawdust.

To put my Orkin example in terms liberals can understand, simply substitute the termites with the owner of a blacktop company who believes he’s making tremendous “progress” in his quest to pave paradise and put up a parking lot.

Author: Doug Powers

Doug Powers is a writer, editor and commentator covering news of the day from a conservative viewpoint with an occasional shot of irreverence and a chaser of snark. Townhall Media writer/editor. alum. Bowling novice. Long-suffering Detroit Lions fan. Contact: