Fear Not, Our Lives are in the Hands of Mall Cops

Don’t worry America, this is the kind of potentially horrific attack that, fortunately, mall cops all around the country have trained several minutes for.

From ABC News:

The FBI is warning that al Qaeda may be preparing a series of holiday attacks on U.S. shopping malls in Los Angeles and Chicago, according to an intelligence report distributed to law enforcement authorities across the country this morning.

The FBI is advising mall-goers to brace themselves behind something sturdy and heavy in the event of a bomb attack.

In a related story, Lane Bryant has reported a 65% increase in store traffic.


Dirk Johannson, of the Chicago Woodfield Mall’s elite counter-terrorism/anti-shoplifting squad, patrols on a Segway. A noticable lack of any Al Qaeda members in front of The Gap is evidence of the deterrent created by such patrols

Author: Doug Powers

Doug Powers is a writer, editor and commentator covering news of the day from a conservative viewpoint with an occasional shot of irreverence and a chaser of snark. Townhall Media writer/editor. MichelleMalkin.com alum. Bowling novice. Long-suffering Detroit Lions fan. Contact: WriteDoug@Live.com.