In choosing a Republican candidate to support, one of the main traits I look for is consistency, and not just last week — but over the past decade or more. We all reserve the right to change our minds on a position, but when this isn’t done out of conviction, but rather to suck up to some voting bloc like a lamprey to a shark, that person will not get my vote.

Obviously, in today’s chameleonic political climate, this criterion is tougher to satisfy than Michael Moore at a salad bar. When it comes to consistency, I’m more likely to support a candidate who said he’s for gay marriage ten years ago, and continues to say that, than I am to support a candidate who was against it, then for it, then against it and now on the fence.

I prefer a consistent candidate, even if he or she has a couple of views opposed to mine, over the insecurity that is inherent in supporting a candidate who, at any given moment, could sell us out. Mitt Romney could be one of those candidates.

Whenever I see Romney, I can’t help but think back to a debate he had with Ted Kennedy in the 1994 senate race. Granted, running against Ted Kennedy in Massachusetts is like trying to sell soap at Woodstock, but in that debate Mitt Romney out-Kennedy’d even Ted Kennedy.

If and when Romney secures the base, I’m afraid we’ll see more of the same. Democrats will also have a bunch of their own “for it before I was against it,” and vice-versa, ads readily available.

In the Kennedy debate, Romney described himself — in answers that seem so canned they’re easily mistaken for chicken noodle soup — as pro-choice forever and always. He was on the board of the Boy Scouts of America, but for gay marriage, and he wished that the Scouts would lift their ban on gays. Now he’s against all that, which is tragic because now we may never know if it’s possible to start a fire by rubbing two Liza Minelli CD’s together.

In the Kennedy debate, Romney widely separated himself from Ronald Reagan, and now it would appear that Mitt spends every evening hunched over a Ouija Board trying to channel The Gipper into every speech.

While Romney believes that his greatest personal failing is that he’s just too damn charitable, in actuality his greatest weakness as a candidate is that he waffles so much that his running mate should be Mrs. Butterworth.

Here’s Mitt Romney coming dangerously close to being sued by Ted Kennedy for copyright infringement:


Leave a Reply

You must be logged in to post a comment.