Breaking: Somebody's Really Sick of Primary Season in New Hampshire

A man claiming to have a bomb and/or guns has reportedly taken hostages in a Hillary Clinton for President campaign office in Rochester, New Hampshire. Local station WHDH reports that the downtown area is being evacuated.

Jimmy Carter en route to negotiate a settlement. Just kidding… I think…

Update: The hostage taker is demanding to speak to Mrs. Clinton. He either has a political grievance or needs the number of Hillary’s Botox dealer.

Update II: The guy surrenders. The fact that he wasn’t on his prescription medications is now being carefully scripted into Hillary’s pitch for national health care.