Our old pal from Missouri, Chief Wana Dubie (who has checked in with us on a couple of occasions, found no Doritos, and departed) has announced his intention to run for Governor of Missouri. This marks the second time a candidate’s papers submitted to a state’s election commission had the words “Zig-Zag” on them.
The first time was, of course, when the Duber ran for Missouri State Rep. (yes, he was actually on the ballot) in a previous election, campaigning as a Libertarian. Well, it turns out that the LP didn’t seem to want him, so now he’s in search of a new party. You’ve got to be a pretty interesting sort to be too much for the LP to handle.
In a post I wrote back when the Chief announced he was running for State Rep, entitled “The bong and winding road,” I suggested some campaign slogans. I hope he will still consider any of the following:
Ã¢â‚¬â€œ”Are you better off now than you were four hits ago?”
Ã¢â‚¬â€œ”Tippecanoe and the munchies too”
Ã¢â‚¬â€œ”Some pot in every chicken and a van with flame decals in every garage”
Ã¢â‚¬â€œ”Missouri will soon be fixed, not to mention dilated”
Ã¢â‚¬â€œ”It’s morning in America. I’ll be up in about six hours”
Ã¢â‚¬â€œ”Shining the black light of truth”
Ã¢â‚¬â€œ”The only candidate endorsed by Willie Nelson”
Ã¢â‚¬â€œ”Government of the people, by the people, and for the people, shallÃ¢â‚¬Â¦ hey, is that an ice cream truck?”
Ã¢â‚¬â€œ”Building a bridge to 21st century Columbia”
America needs a politician who doesn’t get much done, is too busy partying to promote lousy laws, over-regulate and raise taxes, and doesn’t even show up on some days more than ever!
God speed, Chief! May Hillary’s campaign go up in as much smoke as yours, but for different metaphorical reasons.