Al Gore Sez: You’re Gonna Be Dead Before You Finish Reading This

nullAl Gore reminded the attendees at the World Economic Forum meeting in Davos, Switzerland (seems like they’d at least pick someplace hot so this would be an easier sell — it’s 28 degrees in Davos right now) that “climate change” is much worse than he initially feared.

Okay, how much money do you want now, Al? If we get shaken down any more we’re going to have to beg Hillary to make sure we all get free Parkinson’s medication after she’s elected.

Gore told the panel that “there are now forecasts that the North Pole ice caps may disappear entirely during summer months within five years.”

I hate to quote myself, but I wrote a column about Gore a couple of years ago for The American Spectator and here’s my opinion of his forecasting abilities:

Gore-style meteorology, specifically climatology as it concerns global warming, seems to be one of those rare sciences for which the percentage of accuracy of predictions rises as the distance from the date in question increases.

To buy into this scientific convenience takes the same blind confidence required to believe an archer who tells you he can put an arrow through a soda can at 500 yards — the same person who you’ve noticed can’t hit a bale of hay from 10 feet away.

Ask the night sweat-suffering Gore what the world will look like in 100 years if the United States doesn’t sign on to the Kyoto Protocol, and you’ll be drawn a gloomy, and very specific, picture of our final days. Then ask him what the overnight low will be in Chattanooga two weeks from Thursday, and you’ll get an unresponsive stare. At some point during the conversation, Gore will excuse himself and go burn thousands of gallons of jet fuel to fly to an emergency summit meeting on ozone depletion.

Gore spastically warns, and increasingly so, the planet is in dire jeopardy, it’s your fault, and claims the most serious threat to the world isn’t terrorism, but rather global warming. There’s a good reason he says this: Gore hasn’t made a movie or written a book about traditional terrorism.

There’s one way to tell if global warming is actually a greater threat than terrorism. If we start seeing al-Qaida switching from car bombs and hijackings to aerosol hairspray and leaving an SUV running instead of blowing it up, then we’ll know.

Is our time up? I’m afraid to look now… are we still alive? Oh no! The water is rising! God help us! Oh wait, it’s just the bathtub overflowing. Whew!


This is what New York will look like in five days unless you buy carbon credits from Al Gore

Author: Doug Powers

Doug Powers is a writer, editor and commentator covering news of the day from a conservative viewpoint with an occasional shot of irreverence and a chaser of snark. Townhall Media writer/editor. alum. Bowling novice. Long-suffering Detroit Lions fan. Contact: