Obama's "Unity," "Change," and Other Words That Should Make Us Cringe

Barack Obama seems to be one of the more likable candidates on the campaign trail from either party. Heck, he might even get my vote, if it weren’t for the fact that I think his political views are hideously leftist — but then, substance over form is the whole point of the endeavor, isn’t it? At least, I used to think so.

In spite of Obama’s big win in Iowa last night, his mantra of “unity” and “change” had better get some meat behind it fairly quickly or else he’s a goner. After all, “unity” and “change” are fairly subjective terms if left untethered. Just ask the residents of Jonestown.

Members of Jim Jones’ Peoples Temple cult were motivated toward unity and change — and boy did they get it. Al Qaeda is unified for change, too. So are financial scammers that free unsuspectingly greedy dingbats from their life savings.

History is rife with examples of misery and repossessed freedoms that were the result of a quest for “unity” and “change.” Obama must clarify what exactly he means by this so Democrats can choose, in an educated way, the candidate who is most likely to redistribute the wealth with “unity” — until all that is left in our pockets is “change.”

In closing, how ticked off must Hillary be? A third place finish behind a skinny, black political plebe and an effeminate ambulance chaser? Heads are gonna roll. Rest assured, on a campaign plane en route to New Hampshire, the dust is being blown off a few FBI files as we speak.

Obama’s “Unity,” “Change,” and Other Words That Should Make Us Cringe

Barack Obama seems to be one of the more likable candidates on the campaign trail from either party. Heck, he might even get my vote, if it weren’t for the fact that I think his political views are hideously leftist — but then, substance over form is the whole point of the endeavor, isn’t it? At least, I used to think so.

In spite of Obama’s big win in Iowa last night, his mantra of “unity” and “change” had better get some meat behind it fairly quickly or else he’s a goner. After all, “unity” and “change” are fairly subjective terms if left untethered. Just ask the residents of Jonestown.

Members of Jim Jones’ Peoples Temple cult were motivated toward unity and change — and boy did they get it. Al Qaeda is unified for change, too. So are financial scammers that free unsuspectingly greedy dingbats from their life savings.

History is rife with examples of misery and repossessed freedoms that were the result of a quest for “unity” and “change.” Obama must clarify what exactly he means by this so Democrats can choose, in an educated way, the candidate who is most likely to redistribute the wealth with “unity” — until all that is left in our pockets is “change.”

In closing, how ticked off must Hillary be? A third place finish behind a skinny, black political plebe and an effeminate ambulance chaser? Heads are gonna roll. Rest assured, on a campaign plane en route to New Hampshire, the dust is being blown off a few FBI files as we speak.

'President Hillary Clinton': Horrifying Scenario #14

Here it is: “Supreme Court Justice Bill Clinton.”

Think about it. There’s precedent for such a move, and it would allow the Bonnie & Clyde of deceit and deception to pretend to still be married while keeping them a respectable distance apart so nobody is offended by any number of girlfriends — same goes for Bill.

Probably at least three justices will retire in the next few years — either to spend more time with their families or because they lost the case of “Justice v. G. Reaper.” Why wouldn’t Bill be a logical replacement?

Yes, it’s a horrifying thought. Almost as horrifying as Hillary’s floating head of terror. Hopefully tonight Iowans can help ensure this never happens, but I’m not counting on it.

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Bill Clinton, seen above in a file photo joining staffers to watch recorded video from his patented “Zipper-cam,” is at the top of Hillary’s list of Supreme Court possibilites

‘President Hillary Clinton’: Horrifying Scenario #14

Here it is: “Supreme Court Justice Bill Clinton.”

Think about it. There’s precedent for such a move, and it would allow the Bonnie & Clyde of deceit and deception to pretend to still be married while keeping them a respectable distance apart so nobody is offended by any number of girlfriends — same goes for Bill.

Probably at least three justices will retire in the next few years — either to spend more time with their families or because they lost the case of “Justice v. G. Reaper.” Why wouldn’t Bill be a logical replacement?

Yes, it’s a horrifying thought. Almost as horrifying as Hillary’s floating head of terror. Hopefully tonight Iowans can help ensure this never happens, but I’m not counting on it.

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Bill Clinton, seen above in a file photo joining staffers to watch recorded video from his patented “Zipper-cam,” is at the top of Hillary’s list of Supreme Court possibilites

Hillarycare, Iowa Style

Here’s something that sounds like a good deal if you’re looking for ways to be an irresponsible parent at no extra cost to you.

If you’re in Iowa and going to the caucus tomorrow night, friends of Hillary will watch your kids for you:

Meet Hillary Clinton’s secret weapon in Iowa: baby-sitters.

In Thursday’s caucuses, it all comes down to getting out the vote. And Clinton is going to the extremes, even lining up baby-sitters and day care centers for caucus-going moms.
[…]
The Clinton campaign is opening day care centers across the state, including three in Des Moines, and has enlisted a legion of teenage girls to render their tyke-watching services.

And now it’s time to meet the babysitting staff:

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See? You Hawkeye State parents have nothing to worry about. Just do me a favor. When you pick up your kids, tell the staff you really appreciate it because you wouldn’t have been able to go vote for Obama without Hillary’s generous assistance.

Update: If more parents had heeded Hillary’s recent advice, they wouldn’t need her damn babysitting help at all.

Signs of Life in Fallujah

If you’re tired of the mainstream media stories on what’s going on in Iraq being served with so much intentional spin that you feel like you’re on the receiving end of Andy Roddick’s wicked slice, check out Michael Totten’s Middle East Journal.

Totten has many, many firsthand accounts and photos of what’s going on in the Middle East, safe from the lib-filters at the New York Times, CNN and all the rest.

A recent post of Totten’s could get more liberal undies in a wad than the last shock-and-awe panty raid at Stanford University. It’s entitled “A plan to kill everyone,” and features some signs, and explanations thereof, which are on display at Marine bases of operations in Fallujah, Iraq. Here are a couple that are bound to make Harry Reid wet the bed tonight if he sees them:

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No American soldier has been killed in Fallujah for months, which makes it markedly safer for Americans than Washington, DC.

In “Good units get attacked less because they look like and are hard targets,” substitute “units” with “people” or “nations” and it’s still good advice. But try hanging those signs around the nation’s capital, and the government would prevent you from spreading your hateful, violent message and confiscate them — at gunpoint, of course.

(h/t LGF)

Thrilling News for John Edwards

John Edwards has reason to be excited today! Is it because he’s leading in the Iowa polls? No. It wasn’t a great day in that aspect. Heck, his tour bus even did its best impression of what would happen to the country under Edwards’ policies and broke down — which set his schedule back quite a bit.

No, the reason John Edwards has reason to smile today is because his N. Carolina neighbor who has been described as “slummy” and a “gun toting Republican,” and who is a Giuliani backer, is moving to S. Carolina.

I was praying that Rupert Murdoch would purchase the property, but it didn’t work out that way. Damn!