Rosie O’Donnell on the Wagon

Part-time 9/11 conspiracy nut, quarter-time talk show host and full time whiffle-noggin, Rosie O’Donnell, says she has quit drinking beer.

Though I’d knock ’em back at record pace too if I had to wake up with Rosie O’Donnell every morning, the “official” story of Rosie’s jump on the wagon just doesn’t seem to add up, so I’m going to consult destructural engineers at AA and get to the bottom of it. Bush has got to be behind this.