Symbolism Over Gross Substance

There’s something oddly symbolic about this story as it relates to how Homeland Security operates in airports in the U.S.

Somebody got into the Minnesota Homeland Security office in the middle of the afternoon, defecated in several rooms, and left. Police are baffled at how the man could have gone in several rooms (it’s being called the “magic feces theory”). I suspect there was a second pooper, but I digress.

In the meantime, the Department of Homeland Security plans to expand their color-coded alert system to add smells to warn us of the likelihood of similar incidents.

Incidentally, Homeland Security didn’t notice the security breach at the office of the government department charged with making sure nobody breaches U.S. security because they were busy monitoring Muslims frisking old nuns at the airport. This Sister didn’t have a bomb. Whew!


Crisis averted… this time

Author: Doug Powers

Doug Powers is a writer, editor and commentator covering news of the day from a conservative viewpoint with an occasional shot of irreverence and a chaser of snark. Townhall Media writer/editor. alum. Bowling novice. Long-suffering Detroit Lions fan. Contact: