Piercing the TSA Boob Farm

As an occasional air traveler, a bit of experience swimming in the tepid dimwit pool has turned me into a “Transportation Security Agency” skeptic, to say the least.

Here’s a story I ran across earlier in the week that addresses part of the reason why the TSA is a joke.

This is funny (read: “pathetic”) on so many levels:

A Texas woman who said she was forced to remove a nipple ring with pliers in order to board an airplane called Thursday for an apology by federal security agents and a civil rights investigation.

“I wouldn’t wish this experience upon anyone,” Mandi Hamlin said at a news conference. “My experience with TSA was a nightmare I had to endure. No one deserves to be treated this way.”

I think we all owe the TSA a big thanks for finally putting the collar on the dreaded Tittybomber. All our areolaplanes are now safer.

Is there precedent for this? I mean, if the TSA could at least point to an example where a terrorist hijacked a plane to Istanbul with a nipple ring, then maybe I’d understand.

In the meantime, as five TSA employees tended to this one stupid incident, keep in mind how many people were not being watched. Bin Laden could have strode on past, but the TSA was busy monitoring Penny Pincushion removing her rings.

Conversely, Hamlin’s attorney, the idiotically ubiquitous attention whore Gloria Allred, said that her client was publicly humiliated.

Publicly humiliated? Consider that this is a woman who once entered a tattoo/piercing parlor, took off her shirt and put her naked rack on a card table while a total stranger, who’s perhaps covered in cheap tattoos and goes by the name “Stinkfist,” poked holes in her nipples and used a ball-peen hammer to tap pieces of metal through them. Given that, you’d think her humiliation threshold would be just a tad higher.

But anyway, thanks to the TSA, another crisis has been averted!

Still wanted for questioning:


Author: Doug Powers

Doug Powers is a writer, editor and commentator covering news of the day from a conservative viewpoint with an occasional shot of irreverence and a chaser of snark. Townhall Media writer/editor. MichelleMalkin.com alum. Bowling novice. Long-suffering Detroit Lions fan. Contact: WriteDoug@Live.com.