Reporter Bushwhacked

Here’s Bush going nu-kew-lerr yesterday on a moron reporter who pretends not to know that “winning” in Afghanistan does not mean the war is over.

How upset was Bush? He said “Jihadist” — a word that the U.S. State Department all but forbids the use of. No, seriously, they do. How long will it be until Dennis Kucinich tries to impeach Bush on this basis?

As for the content of Bush’s outburst, too bad he can’t get this passionate during State of the Union speeches or Oval Office addresses:

Obama, Clinton Breathe Sigh of Relief After Dukakis Refuses to Endorse a Candidate

That sound you heard after a reporter asked Michael Dukakis which candidate he was supporting for president was Hillary and Barack running off to hide.

Fortunately for them, Dukakis refused to offer an endorsement. Whew! That’d be like applying for a job as a school bus driver and attaching a letter of recommendation from Ted Kennedy.

nullnullnull

Major apologies to the Zucker brothers and Jim Abrahams.

Time Out for Some Science

Tuesday night I read an article about how certain fish can reproduce without sex, but that it causes undesirable genetic alterations over time:

Not everyone in the animal kingdom needs to have sex to reproduce, but asexual species tend not to last as long as sexuals because, as the theory goes, asexuals are more susceptible to accumulating harmful mutations over many generations.

To witness this phenomenon without having to get in the water, simply go to what genetic biologists call a “Star Trek Convention”:

null

More science news: Albert Hofmann, the Swiss chemist who discovered LSD, has died at 102. In his remembrance today, I’m going to put on some Jefferson Airplane, stare at my hand for an hour and then and jump out a window.

Hillary Buying Votes With Your Money, As Usual

Hang on to your wallets. Hillary’s contingency planning just in case she loses the nomination and needs to run for a third Senate term in New York, where apparently her re-election plan is to give each New York voter $30:

From TheHill.com:

Sen. Hillary Rodham Clinton has requested nearly $2.3 billion in federal earmarks for 2009, almost three times the largest amount received by a single senator this year.

The sad part is, should she not win the nomination, she’ll think this is the least of what she’s owed by the peasants. Just wait ’til she drags her angry pantsuit back to DC and goes full-blown Nurse Ratchet on the nation. Hillary will want to punish the moronic minions with crippling taxes (moreso than she already does), and she’ll probably succeed — especially if McCain’s in the White House constantly trying to “smooth things over with his good friends on the other side of the aisle.”

Update: It’s a question that would explain it all: Is Reverend Wright really working for Friends of Hillary?

Iran from the Evil Barbie Doll

Iran, fearing they might become culturally, legally and morally medieval — heaven forbid — is very concerned about any importation of Barbie Dolls:

A top Iranian judiciary official has warned against the “destructive” cultural and social consequences of importing Barbie dolls and other Western toys.

Prosecutor General Ghorban Ali Dori Najafabadi said in an official letter to Vice President Parviz Davoudi that the Western toys was a “danger” that needed to be stopped.

So, in order to keep sales moving in Iran, Mattel announced the creation of the following Barbie dolls that should pass the muster of the Iranian government:

“‘Stoned to death for loving somebody of the wrong religion’ Barbie”

“‘Honor killing’ Barbie”

“‘Half the Deyeh of a man’ Barbie”

“’74 strokes of the lash for not wearing a Hejab while walking down the street’ Barbie”

“‘Sex slave’ Barbie”

“‘Left arm only’ Barbie” (no rights allowed)

“‘Flogged beyond recognition for fornicating’ Barbie”

“‘Suicidally depressed’ Barbie”

And, of course, there’s the wildly popular “**Terrorist Barbie”:

null

**Belt bomb sold separately

German Study: Smart Women, Bad Sex

I was about to say this post was a departure from politics, but since it’s about sex, it’s right on topic:

Brainy babes find it harder to have an orgasm — because they are too busy thinking, a study claims.

The German survey found that the more educated a woman was, the less likely it was that she would be satisfied by sex.

In the study 62 per cent of women who had completed their education said they often had problems achieving orgasm.

Only 38 per cent of women with a lower educational qualification said they had such problems.

In short: This is why Barbara Boxer always seems to be in a good mood.

As for the study, I’m surprised any German women can have an orgasm — what women could with a guy who reeks of Doppelbock on top of them yelling “Ja! Ja! Ja!” for a solid 60 seconds?

Apparently the dumber ones don’t mind it as much.

Update: In related news, scientists in the UK are seeking 150 women to eat chocolate for a year. England’s only dentist thinks it’s a bad idea, but otherwise volunteers are flocking to take part.

Monday’s Column: Newt’s Progression from Conservative Leader to Gore Lap Dog

Today’s column at WorldNetDaily is about Newt Gingrich, one of those rare politicians who could articulate conservatism with the best of them, but who has evolved into a “climate change” spokesman for Al Gore.

This ad that Gingrich made with Nancy Pelosi accellerated my reconsideration of Newt.

Is Newt being duped, or is he one of the salesman? At this point I’m not sure.

Give a read to “Newt Gingrich: Reaping with the enemy?” for the whole story. You can give it a Digg here.

Incidentally, there’s a similar “climate change” ad now out featuring Al Sharpton and Pat Robertson. I think I’ve figured out Gore’s tactic here. To horrify us into turning off our televisions. It’s working.

Fueling Starvation

If we’re going to insist upon using our food to fill our gas tanks, things like this are going to happen, and probably worsen.

Are we still comfortable with people like Gore, Pelosi, Gingrich and McCain who say we must immediately implement cleaner burning fuels no matter what? And the latter two believe we need to do just it “just in case” climate change theories are accurate. Nice.

I’m sure those who may face starvation so we could burn their dinner in gas tanks aren’t going to be thrilled with being a pawn in a game of power politics and amatuer climatological guesswork.

Harrison Ford Wax Off to Mother Earth

These days, whenever I write a post about some kooky melodramatic over-the-top environmentalist goofball, I’m including it in the category “religion” — because that’s what it’s become.

Harrison Ford, one of my favorite actors, has really become proof that enough fame and fortune for long enough can eventually turn a formerly normal human being into an over-symbolic cracked walnut:

Harrison invited Access Hollywood and our guest correspondent Mel B exclusively along as he embarked on a personal project to promote going green.

And just how did Harrison, who is the vice chair of the global environment group Conservation International, want to get his message across?

By waxing his chest, of course.

In an effort to showcase the pain involved in deforestation, Harrison willingly subject himself to the painful process of stripping his chest of all its follicles.

If this accomplishes nothing else, it certainly gives new meaning to my morning shave — which of course now symbolizes the pain my lawn goes through every time I mow it. I’m also going to dedicate my next colonoscopy to bringing attention to the pain the earth will feel when they drill in ANWR.

For the sake of his career, I hope Ford doesn’t next decide to showcase the pain the earth feels because of arson.

What would we do without actors?