Moonbats with Money, Episode XXVI: Ted Turner

With some uber-wealthy people — some, not all — they reach a point where they can afford to completely forget what got them to their position in life.

Ted Turner reached that stage back when he gave a billion dollars to the U.N. to help finance the fight against the very free market systems that enabled him to be able to donate that amount in the first place.

Turner made an appearance with Charlie Rose on PBS yesterday — appropriately enough on Fools Day — and Ted didn’t disappoint.

On global warming:

We’ll be eight degrees hottest in ten, not ten but 30 or 40 years, and basically none of the crops will grow. Most of the people will have died and the rest of us will be cannibals.

Cannibals? Well, the good news is that if Al Gore keeps increasing in size, by the time this happens he’ll be large enough to feed half the world.

Has anybody ever done a study to see if global warming is responsible for wild over-exaggerations from flighty media moguls? I’m a kajillion kabillion percent positive it is.

Here’s Ted on the Iraqi “insurgents” (read: terrorists) who are killing U.S. troops:

I think that they’re patriots and that they don’t like us because we’ve invaded their country and occupied it. I think if the Iraqis were in Washington, D.C., we’d be doing the same thing: we’d be bombing them too. Nobody wants to be invaded.

Is there anything more grand than the inane moral equivalence of certain billionaire idiots?

Newsbusters has more Turner moronicisms.

Back when Ted and Jane Fonda got married, I was naive enough to think that Jane was the wackiest one in the relationship. It’s been a long time since those days.

It’s awfully difficult to get on the opposite end of the crazy scale and outweigh a feminist like Fonda who had the audacity to get breast implants — which is like Louis Farrakhan enhancing his endowment by stuffing his pants with matzah balls. But, in subsequent years, Ted has managed to make Hanoi Jane look sane by comparison.

Update: From the “With friends like these…” file, Jane Fonda announces that she’s voting for Obama.

Author: Doug Powers

Doug Powers is a writer, editor and commentator covering news of the day from a conservative viewpoint with an occasional shot of irreverence and a chaser of snark. Townhall Media writer/editor. alum. Bowling novice. Long-suffering Detroit Lions fan. Contact: