Yesterday morning, there was an earthquake in the midwest. The land hasn’t shaken that much in those parts since the legendary “Michael Moore falling down the stairs” event that actually altered the course of the Cuyahoga river.

The weekend challenge we face is this: To try and help Al Gore come up with a reason to blame the midwestern quake on global warming and/or climate change.

My recommendation to Al would be to blame earthquakes in general on oil drilling worldwide. Global warming self-perpetuates because the burning of fossil fuel warms the atmosphere, which of course means we burn even more to stay cool, which means demand for fossil fuel continues to rise, which means drilling around the world increases.

This global warming induced drilling has punctured so many holes in tectonic plates that they are increasingly unstable, and unless we all buy fault zone credits from Gore, Inc. (a LLC partnering with the United Nations to save us all from the burden of wealth) we’re going to die a shaky, fiery death.

Learn all about it in Al’s next movie, “Another convenient excuse.”

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