How exactly did Washington DC eliminate gang violence, you ask? Well, DC officials have simply stopped using the word “gang” and replaced it with a cuter word:
D.C. officials insist on describing groups of young males as “crews,” rather than gangs, even when they are held responsible for violent acts such as the wave of killings in the city last weekend.
Problem solved. But “crew-banger” doesn’t come across much better — makes ‘em sound like Sha-Na-Na groupies.
With that bit of effective logic out of the way, the next order of business is to change the term “DC officials” to the far more accurate “idiots.”