La Cage aux Folle: Zoo Edition

A California court has legalized gay marriage in that state, and I know the first question that popped into your head was “will this hurt the British Columbia tourism industry?” Maybe a little. Whether or not Canadians consider the California ruling an act of economic terrorism remains to be seen.

But the ruling also has many people jumping out of the woodwork to tell us how incredibly natural homosexuality is. So natural, in fact, that a lot of those animals you see at the zoo are as queer as three dollar bills:

Same-sex lovin’ is common in hundreds of species, scientists say.

Roy and Silo, two male chinstrap penguins at New York’s Central Park Zoo, were a couple for about six years, during which they nurtured a fertilized egg together (given to them by a zookeeper) and raised the young chick that hatched.

According to University of Oslo zoologist Petter Böckman, about 1,500 animal species are known to practice same-sex coupling, including bears, gorillas, flamingos, owls, salmon and many others.

There’s a good reason the San Diego Wild Animal Park is one of the largest zoos in the world, and thanks to the court ruling, it’s about to get a whole lot bigger.

But people should be careful about running to nature for examples of what’s “normal.” If humans were to start letting the weak, defenseless and helpless die, we need only to turn on any number of nature programs for examples of how this is “normal” in the animal kingdom. Does this justify humans doing the same thing?

But when some of these same animals start acting like they’re at a birthday party at Barney Frank’s apartment, we’re to take that as evidence that something is “normal.”

Dogs pee on fire hydrants and everybody looks the other way, but the last person I saw doing the same thing got arrested. As you can see, there is much work to be done in the area of human rights.

As for homosexuality, in the universe of problems we all face, who cares what people do in the privacy of their own homes? But if a million people who engage in an oft-infectious lifestyle suddenly have a new dependent overnight I don’t want to see my health insurance premium skyrocket to pay for it. After all, the gay marriage issue isn’t really about love or religion — it’s mostly about insurance.

Maybe there shouldn’t be any health insurance anyway. You’ll notice that there isn’t any health insurance in the animal kingdom — not even for the gay ones.

Author: Doug Powers

Doug Powers is a writer, editor and commentator covering news of the day from a conservative viewpoint with an occasional shot of irreverence and a chaser of snark. Townhall Media writer/editor. alum. Bowling novice. Long-suffering Detroit Lions fan. Contact: