Environmentally Friendly Bombs: The Future of Gore War

Have you ever said to yourself, “Gee, I’d like to drop a bomb and obliterate that town while killing and maiming thousands, but I’m concerned about the negative effect it will have on global warming. What should I do?”

Well, as the story “Environmentally friendly bombs planned” points out, your worries could be over:

New explosives could be more powerful and safer to handle than TNT and other conventional explosives and would also be more environmentally friendly.
To make safer, more environmentally friendly explosives, scientists in Germany turned to a recently explored class of materials called tetrazoles. These derive most of their explosive energy from nitrogen instead of carbon as TNT and others do.

Scientists in Germany are working on bombs again? If this doesn’t make Poland jumpy, nothing will.

Here’s what should be done to make bombs even “greener.”

First, when there’s some bombing to be done, there will be an initial explosion to level the target area and kill all the human beings in it — they do nothing but ruin the environment anyway.

The exploded ordinance will of course meet Gore standards — no asbestos (so those near target zones don’t get mesothelioma), no materials culled from rainforests, the explosion must be triggered by clean-burning ethanol, the pilot of the plane dropping the bomb is a vegetarian, etc.

After the initial green explosion, a follow-up bomb dropped from the same hybrid airplane will detonate 5,000 feet over the target zone and spread tree seeds. This way the attack acts as its own carbon offset.

In the future, war will have us all breathing easier.

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Author: Doug Powers

Doug Powers is a writer, editor and commentator covering news of the day from a conservative viewpoint with an occasional shot of irreverence and a chaser of snark. Townhall Media writer/editor. MichelleMalkin.com alum. Bowling novice. Long-suffering Detroit Lions fan. Contact: WriteDoug@Live.com.