This Just In From ‘The Department of Pointing Out the Incredibly Obvious’

Cosmopolitan study: Shopping does for women what sex does for men

Eh, for some men, sex is shopping. Ask Eliot Spitzer.

Since I’m always trying to do my part to bring the sexes together, I figured I’d try to make this revelation a “win-win,” so I tried to have sex with my wife while she was shopping. Oddly enough, she didn’t appreciate the attempt, nor did the employees at Linens ‘n Things.

There’s just no figuring out women.