New Market Trend: Short-Selling Fat People

If you’re into investment markets, here’s the next great thing:

Merck & Co, Nike and General Mills are among 15 health-care and consumer products companies best positioned to profit from an effort to combat the growing obesity epidemic, Credit Suisse analysts said in a report on Thursday.

Globally, 1.8 billion people were obese or overweight in 2007, and the number of obese and overweight people now exceeds the amount of those who are underfed, the report said.

So oil speculation is bad because it allegedly has a hand in keeping the price up, but obesity speculation is good because it will help keep our weight down?

Anyway, the number of obese and overweight people will increase even further as the obese and overweight feast on the underfed. As an investment, it’s exponential gain at its finest. There’s a fortune to be made in short-selling fat people.

And when those anti-fat investments begin to see diminishing returns, buy ten thousand shares of Twinkie stock and start the whole trend all over again. You’ll notice that many of the “feed the world” people from the mid-1980’s are some of the same people who are now fighting like hell to keep everybody from eating so damn much.

This is the same method good politicians use to manage to stay in office for decades.

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“Buy! Buy!”