Redford’s Global Warming Poetry Contest: What Rhymes With ‘Hoax’?

Actor and activist (today’s redundancy is sposored by Reese’s Peanut Butter Cups — chocolate and peanut butter — two great tastes that taste great together!) Robert Redford is taking the fight to global warming in the form of poetry competitions:

[Redford] has a new venue for environmental activism: slam poetry. Sponsored by Redford’s Sundance Preserve, in collaboration with Youth Speaks, a nonprofit that presents spoken-word performances, the Academy Award-winning actor is getting his message out in rhyme.

Redford spoke with Lauren Whitehead, associate director of Youth Speaks, and Simone Crew, slam poet and participant in “Brave New Voices: Youth Speaks! 11th International Youth Poetry Slam.”

Since I’m always in a helping mood, here’s my poetry submissions:

A limerick:

In ten years the oceans will be dead
Once said an actor named Ted
It’s now twenty years later
The oceans are greater
And the only thing dead is Ted’s cred


“Send me lots of money this morning,
to save the environment from warming.”
Al Gore he rejoices and birds they sing,
because stupid actors will fall for anything

Or perhaps some haiku:

Bear trapped on ice sheet
Couldn’t leave in time, now stuck
Damn that bear is slow


Buy carbon credits
To save the earth from ruin
Private jet takes off

It feels so good to know that I just did my part to fight global warming.


Carpe propositum — Seize the scheme!”