‘Are You Better Off Now Than You Were Four Queers Ago?’

How do you like the sound of this? Congressman Richard Simmons.

Oh, what the hell, why not? Hey, maybe this anticipation is why Larry Craig refuses to retire. Can you imagine? There would be so much tapping going on in the Capitol Hill restrooms that it’d sound like a Shirley Temple/Bojangles Robinson reunion.

Not to name-drop, and believe me, I don’t want to in this case, but I met Richard Simmons a few years ago. I was in a television station, and he happened to be there too that day. I was eating french fries at the time, and he said to me, in his usual tone and with a physical demeanor that falls somewhere between Nathan Lane and Tinkerbell, “Why don’t you just go ahead and rub those fries on your stomach right now and cut out the middle-man!”

It’s that kind of willingness to say what needs to be said that makes me certain that Congressman Richard Simmons would help protect America and bring our enemies to their knees. Plus, he’s got nearly as much political experience as Barack Obama.


Author: Doug Powers

Doug Powers is a writer, editor and commentator covering news of the day from a conservative viewpoint with an occasional shot of irreverence and a chaser of snark. Townhall Media writer/editor. MichelleMalkin.com alum. Bowling novice. Long-suffering Detroit Lions fan. Contact: WriteDoug@Live.com.