Putting the “Safe” in “Safeco”:

The Seattle Mariners are declaring two sections of Safeco Field no-peanut zones for a couple of games this summer.

The AL club announced the move Wednesday to make the ballpark safer for children and grown-up fans with peanut allergies.

No peanuts — even shell fragments — at all in certain areas of a baseball park? “Square peg, meet round hole.”

Also, Tuesdays this summer are lactose intolerant nights at Safeco — and Thursdays are dust allergy nights. No player is allowed to slide into any base or kick up any dirt whatsoever anywhere near the first base line.

And remember, if anyone even mentions Mamie “Peanut” Johnson on any of these nights, you’ll be subject to removal from the ballpark and a $500 fine — unless you’re allergic to fines, in which case you’ll be made to sit in the “no beer” section with the barley intolerant.


4 Responses to “Full Wussification of Baseball Nearly Complete”

  1. Nicolus on March 29th, 2016 2:59 pm

    I will watch it

  2. Jamie on April 1st, 2016 6:08 pm

    Anything that causes a player to display his/her performance in the tournament, should be banned. It's a great decision that every person should keep the baseball park clean. The peanut zone should be used by all the people who love to have some peanut during the match is going on. Great Day For Baseball

  3. miac ballard on May 10th, 2016 3:42 pm

    There are many people who have been suffering from dust allergy. Now-a-days the environment is getting polluted day by day in many ways. This type of attempts to keep the baseball park clean to prevent dust allergy should be appreciated by all of us. There are many essay services reviews about the previous history of the process of keeping the baseball park net and clean.The authority of this baseball park should be aware of its natural environment.

  4. Donna C. on May 21st, 2016 10:53 am

    It's not clear whether sportsmen have more time NFL Games Live restoration times after do it again concussions and whether mixed results such as deficiency of ability in information and storage area space happen. In post-concussion problem, signs don't disappear for several weeks, months, or decades constant a concussion.

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