‘John Kerry Reporting for Booty!’

Looks like Senator John Kerry is picking up the party slack while Teddy’s on the D.L.

According to TMZ, John Kerry left a Nantucket restaurant and a group of **drunken college kids (**today’s redundancy brought to you by Oxi Clean, the stain specialist!) on a boat asked the senator to take some pictures with them.

At least that’s what he told Teresa.

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One of the girls was so honored to meet a U.S. Senator that she broke out the crazy eyes and penis straw for the occasion (the latter being a gift from Bubba the last time he was on the island, but she sold the dog-eared copy of Leaves of Grass to the student book store for beer money), and another was so overcome by Kerry’s powerful presence that she nearly fainted:

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But of course, Kerry’s visit wouldn’t have been complete without a lesson in American history for the kids:

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“We used to drink Bud Light when I served in Vietnam. Did I mention that I served in Vietnam?”

Note: In case Photobucket gets overwhelmed, the partyin’ Kerry photo gallery can be viewed here.