Obamagasm: Reporter OD’s on Foreplay With Barack

In a fawning article that reads like an A.N. Roquelaure novel on Spanish fly, a BILD reporter named Judith Bonesky worked out in a gym with Barack Obama before his speech in Germany last week.

Here’s the best part:

“My name’s Judith” I reply. “I’m Barack Obama, nice to meet you!” he says, and puts his arm across my shoulder. I put my arm around his hip – wow, he didn’t even sweat! WHAT A MAN!

I don’t know about you, but I could have used a cigarette after reading the whole article.

Watch your back, Judith, because the rest of the MSM, especially Chris Matthews, might consider you the “other woman” and you may end up as the victim of an, um, “unfortunate accident.”

I took the picture of the reporter and Obama and made it more appropriate to the occasion:

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Monday’s Column: Just Leave Already!

Needing to take a few days off from directly commenting in column form about the upcoming election, I instead decided it was time to knock around the Hollywood left a little bit.

Today’s column at WorldNetDaily is just that. When Bush’s term started to draw to a close at the start of this year, I figured at the very least we’d stop hearing about all those lying celebs saying “If Bush is elected, I’ll leave the country.” I had no idea it would pick up where it left off with McCain — Susan Sarandon is one example.

The column is also a mini psycho-analysis of the Hollywood left. I’m no psychologist, but I think I’m at least as qualified as Dr. Phil to analyze this collection of hypocritical blowhards.

Give a read to “Don’t go away mad, just go away” for the whole story.

And if you’re just coming back after being gone all weekend, yesterday I had a column at the American Thinker. You can check that out here.

Iran Declares August 5 ‘Contradiction in Terms Day’

Is Iran getting on board the human rights train? This story was reported on Friday:

A top Iranian body headed by President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad reportedly has declared August 5 international “Islamic human rights day,” in what may be a bid to boost shari’a law.
[…]
The report comes amid growing international criticism of Iran’s rights record, particularly its use of capital punishment. This week, a British parliamentary foreign affairs committee released a document that described Iran’s human rights record as “shocking” and “deteriorating” and noted that its statute books permitted execution by hanging, stoning, flogging and amputation.

But then, during this apparent effort to quell criticisms of their capital punishment record, this story was reported by CNN today, two days after the announcement of “Islamic Human Rights Day”:

Iranian state television’s Web site says 29 people convicted of murder, drug trafficking and other criminal charges have been hanged in Tehran’s Evin prison.

For Iran to show the world that they can spend an entire day observing human rights without a need for kangaroo courts is going to require a lot of rope before the big day arrives so they can clean house of all the temptation.

Is This Bill Clinton’s Kid?

Here’s your “feelgood story of the weekend”: Boy exits child care, goes to Hooters

A five-year-old boy left his daycare center, crossed two busy streets, and went into a Hooters restaurant.

A hundred bucks says that this kid ends up as a politician — and another hundred says the security level of his daycare center will be modeled by the government when they create their own nationalized daycare.

Here’s a re-enactment of that fateful day, starring a slightly older boy:

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New Column, Sunday Edition: Michael Savage and Autism

Today I have a column — actually more of an essay as it’s quite a bit longer than the usual 750-worder — at the American Thinker.

Radio talk host Michael Savage said some things a few days ago that angered autism groups and parents of kids who have been diagnosed with autism. Some were calling for his firing.

Having a little experience in this area (with both autism and getting fired, now that I think about it), I decided to write about my family’s experience with autism, and subsequently about what may have been Savage’s motivations to make such statements.

Thanks to Thomas Lifson at AT for helping me dig up a lot of things so the piece could be a reasonably balanced examination of the topic.

I’m no expert on autism. All I know is what I’ve learned from our personal experience with the disorder and the “specialists” we’ve seen, so my words shouldn’t be considered to be a generalization but rather one family’s experience that seems to contradict general consensus.

Give a read to “Savage Misguidance?” for the whole story.

Update: In the comments section, there’s an assumption made that, because I said that I agree with much of what Savage says (in which I was referring mostly to his numerous assessments of the growing threat of Islamofascism), I must have laughed when Savage told the homosexual guy to “get AIDS and die.” I’m willing to bet that, ironically, this is a woman who would claim that one reason she dislikes Savage is because he makes baseless inferences.

Carbon Footprint Calculator: How You Can Cut Down Your Consumption So Gore’s Not a Hypocrite

The “Global Footprint Network” has a “carbon footprint calculator.”

Click here to find out how big of an environmental nightmare you are. It looks like the ultimate goal of this thing is to point out that the world would be so much better off if everybody except Al Gore and the people from the Global Footprint Network would kill themselves.

I took the quiz and found out that — I should kill myself. According to the seven 20-year-olds who designed this software, it would take 5.6 earths to provide enough resources if everybody lived the way I do. I’m a beer fart away from needing six planets.

Also, it takes over 22 acres worth of earth’s productive area to support the way I live — which means I only need to buy a few more acres and I’ll have myself covered (I’ll do anything to help save the environment from the likes of people like me).

I’m constantly amused by the insinuation, as it’s done here, that if we have no electricity, no running water, no car, little food, no big house, don’t fly and don’t eat meat, that our positive environmental rating goes through the roof. Many of the people that push this nonesense are the same ones who always say we need to “save Africa!” From what? According to the Global Footprint Network, Africa’s environmental stewardship is second to none.

Incidentally, I went back through the quiz and entered the data, pretending to be Al Gore — using information that’s been reported on Al’s hypocrisy and taking guesses as to his eating habits (“vegetarian” certainly doesn’t appear to apply).

This doesn’t even take into account Gore’s motorcades (multiple cars) and multiple homes — based only upon Gore’s electricity usage, my guesses on how many miles he travels by and and car and the size of his primary residence, it would take 8.2 planets to provide enough resources if everybody lived like Al Gore.

But that’s the whole point… everybody should simplify their lives until Al Gore can keep doing what he’s doing and that number of planets is down to “1.” In other words, Gore’s going to keep trying to get you to go back to living in the stone age until he’s not a hypocrite. Good luck with that, Al.

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The Obligatory John Edwards/Rielle Hunter Jokes & Exclusive Baby Photo

Ever since the National Enquirer reported on John Edwards’ allegedly visiting a hotel to see his mistress and “love child,” it’s been inevitable: The John Edwards/Rielle Hunter jokes are starting to flow, and Jim Treacher has just a few.

As it’s difficult for me to avoid jumping on a trend bandwagon, I took the liberty of writing a couple of my own:

–“Why did doctors at the hospital where the baby was delivered first suspect that John Edwards was the child’s father? Whenever an ambulance pulled up to the emergency room, the baby got an erection.”

–“What was the biggest challenge in planning the baby shower? Trying to figure out how to keep the National Enquirer away from Pink Sapphire.”

–“What’s the definition of ‘futile’? Elizabeth Edwards trying to balance the checkbook.”

By the way, somebody get the Enquirer editors on the phone, because I’ve managed to obtain an exclusive photo of the Edwards/Hunter baby. I think this picture could be worth something:

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Update: The one true love in John Edwards’ life for many, many years is reportedly devastated by reports of the alleged affair and feels cheated and used. But instead of focusing on the bad things, let’s instead remember the happier times they shared together.

Obama Want a Cracker

Below is over nine minutes worth of Barack Obama, in Obama’s own voice with dozens of short clips, talking about white people. Frankly, I can’t believe his campaign hasn’t twisted the arm off the YouTube people yet and managed to get it removed. Maybe soon.

Much of the video, but not all, of this is taken from the audio version of Obama’s book “The Dreams of My Father.”

First, a short personal experience: Years ago, I worked at a grocery store, and I was alone in the office one day and decided to go through the job applications. On the front of one in big letters the manager/owner of the store had written, “No! black!” And this was in 1989 in Michigan, not 1955 in Alabama.

Putting myself in different shoes, if I would have been a young black man in those days and saw that, I would have been jaded, angered, and perhaps even led to believe that all white people thought that way.

In other words, that day, I was given a first-hand lesson in where the anti-white sentiment can come, but it’s very disturbing that one person who holds this sentiment could end up as the most powerful man in the world. Also, Obama’s “bitterness” seems to come more from a liberal politician’s natural instinct to race-bait than from personal experience, which makes it even worse.

“Don’t blame an entire group of people for the actions of a few” is something we’re told by people like Barack Obama when trying to quell white-on-black racism. If only he’d heed his own advice when the equation is reversed:

(h/t Misunderestimated)

Full Wussification of Baseball Nearly Complete

Putting the “Safe” in “Safeco”:

The Seattle Mariners are declaring two sections of Safeco Field no-peanut zones for a couple of games this summer.

The AL club announced the move Wednesday to make the ballpark safer for children and grown-up fans with peanut allergies.

No peanuts — even shell fragments — at all in certain areas of a baseball park? “Square peg, meet round hole.”

Also, Tuesdays this summer are lactose intolerant nights at Safeco — and Thursdays are dust allergy nights. No player is allowed to slide into any base or kick up any dirt whatsoever anywhere near the first base line.

And remember, if anyone even mentions Mamie “Peanut” Johnson on any of these nights, you’ll be subject to removal from the ballpark and a $500 fine — unless you’re allergic to fines, in which case you’ll be made to sit in the “no beer” section with the barley intolerant.

‘Are You Better Off Now Than You Were Four Queers Ago?’

How do you like the sound of this? Congressman Richard Simmons.

Oh, what the hell, why not? Hey, maybe this anticipation is why Larry Craig refuses to retire. Can you imagine? There would be so much tapping going on in the Capitol Hill restrooms that it’d sound like a Shirley Temple/Bojangles Robinson reunion.

Not to name-drop, and believe me, I don’t want to in this case, but I met Richard Simmons a few years ago. I was in a television station, and he happened to be there too that day. I was eating french fries at the time, and he said to me, in his usual tone and with a physical demeanor that falls somewhere between Nathan Lane and Tinkerbell, “Why don’t you just go ahead and rub those fries on your stomach right now and cut out the middle-man!”

It’s that kind of willingness to say what needs to be said that makes me certain that Congressman Richard Simmons would help protect America and bring our enemies to their knees. Plus, he’s got nearly as much political experience as Barack Obama.

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