A survey commissioned by Beam Global Spirits & Wine Inc. asked 100 Washington, DC bartenders some questions about the drinking habits of Republicans vs. Democrats.
Ã¢â‚¬Â¢ Who’s a better tipper? Democrats 60 percent, Republicans 38 percent.
Ã¢â‚¬Â¢ Who is more likely to order a drink straight up? Republicans 82 percent; Democrats 14 percent.
Ã¢â‚¬Â¢ Who is more likely to order a fruity (pink) drink? Democrats 58 percent, Republicans 34 percent.
Ã¢â‚¬Â¢ Who has the better pick-up lines? Democrats 74 percent, Republicans 14 percent.
Ã¢â‚¬Â¢ Who is better at giving a toast? Democrats 63 percent, Republicans 36 percent.
Ã¢â‚¬Â¢ Who is more likely to arrive first to happy hour? Republicans 50 percent, Democrats 48 percent.
Ã¢â‚¬Â¢ Who is more likely to be the last to go home? Democrats 53 percent, Republicans 46 percent.
The only thing left unanswered is how bartenders are so damn good at telling who’s a Republican and who’s a Democrat on appearances alone. Do they all wear badges identifying themselves? It’s easy to tell the difference in Berkeley, but DC?
I tend to believe that if a Democrat tips more than a Republican, it’s because the Democrats wait until the Republicans leave and swipe their tip money… for the children of course.
However, I can understand how a bartender would know the difference between a Democrat and a Republican based completely on their pickup lines.
Sample Democrat pickup lines:
“Can you buy me a drink?”
“Wanna meet Paul Begala?”
“Do you get uptight about trans-fats here often?”
“I hope Barack’s national health care program is comprehensive, ’cause baby you got me lovesick.”
“Hi, I’m John Edwards.”
Sample Republican pickup lines:
“Somebody call Alan Greenspan, because my interest is going through the roof.”
“It’s nice to finally meet a woman whose boobs aren’t as phony as global warming.”
“Your eyes are like flaming tax cuts setting a supply-side fire in my shorts.”
“Hey buddy, can you pass some toilet paper under the divider? Tap twice for ‘yes.'”
“You’re the main reason I favor domestic drilling.”
Feel free to add to the list, or to just go throw up somewhere.