‘Hope’ Hospitalized, Kept Alive

The Reverend Jesse Jackson was admitted to a Chicago hospital last night after complaining of severe stomach palins… er, I mean pains.

Fortunately Jackson’s feeling better, and doctors expect him to be up and extorting in no time.

I’m sure that Jesse’s stomach pains happened during the wildly successful Republican veep speech — the one that created more incontinent liberals and snickering conservatives than the time Reagan joked about bombing Russia — is a mere coincidence.

Oddly enough, Barack Obama was in the hospital bed next to Jackson. The Senator injured his back while talking down to nnnnevermind.