Concerning the “financial crisis,” fear not, because “congressional leaders will work through weekend on bold plan to end crisis.” Yeah, good idea — let Congress fix it. They know how to handle money.

Geez. The next thing you know I’m going to find out our school district has a “bold plan” to make Lindsay Lohan a bus driver.

Here’s a preview of Congress hard at work on the financial crisis this weekend:

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Update: Another trillion bites the dust.

Even worse news: Sen. Chris Dodd said that “Republicans and Democrats decided to work together quickly.” This immediately brought to mind the words of George Carlin: “The word ‘bipartisan’ means some larger-than-usual deception is being carried out.”

Hold on to your wallets and purses — if they haven’t been taken already.

Update II: This headline on Fark pretty much says it all: “Stocks sharply higher on news that enough vaseline is available to shove half of Wall Street up America’s ass”

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