Triumph the Comic Insult Dog covering David Blaine hanging upside-down in Central Park: “Harry Houdini called this stunt ‘The Dangling Douchebag.’”

As soon as the blood works its way back up to Pakistan President Asif Ali Zardari’s brain, he’ll realize that he’s getting a bit of criticism back home for meeting Sarah Palin in New York and being one step away from asking her, “Are those space pants you’re wearing? Because your ass is out of […]

The candidates discussed lots of things last night — clearly McCain’s research people found that he could score two points with each Eastern Bloc sounding name he could spit out — but for me the highlight was when McCain said “horseshit” during one of Obama’s responses. It’s a word we just don’t hear at televised […]

Today I’m attending the funeral of my former boss, mentor and one of my best friends who died early last Sunday morning. This will be followed by the traditional Irish wake and bar brawl thereof. I may not have a chance to post again until this weekend — later if I can’t raise bail money. […]

A U.S. Marine named Lance Cpl. Justin Sharratt is suing Pennsylvania Rep. John Murtha on behalf of members of his squad for defamation for Murtha’s despicable (and ultimately dismissed) allegations concerning the Haditha, Iraq incident. If anybody happens to run across a fund to help Mr. Sharratt with legal expenses, please let us know. Of […]

When it comes to street magic, David Blaine is among the best — but when it comes to weird publicity stunts, I wish he’d use his prestidigitation prowess to make the attention-whore disappear. I saw this same finale at an elementary school production of Peter Pan, except the kid playing Tinkerbell was a bit more […]

Back to the news that really matters. A tabloid is assisting with the salacious gossip bailout: National Equirer: Sarah Palin’s secret lover revealed Odd that she never mentioned him in any of her emails. The Enquirer has a photo of a woman with a beautiful mane of hair and pouty lips sneaking out of a […]

By the time 2012 rolls around, Olympic organizers are going to need back surgery from all the genuflecting. Here’s the poop: Olympic organizers issued detailed design rules for the 2012 London games Wednesday, including a mandate that at least some toilets in the Olympic park do not face the holy Islamic city of Mecca. If […]

A brilliant move, or a stupid one? Hmm: Republican John McCain says he’s directing his staff to work with Barack Obama’s campaign and the debate commission to delay Friday’s debate because of the economic crisis. Many Republicans think this is a terrific strategy on the part of McCain, so he can appear a stronger leader, […]

Let’s call the government and see if we can get bar tabs and gambling debt thrown on this smelly, steaming pile: In the dark of night over the weekend when most people were snoozing, the Treasury dramatically expanded its bailout plan to include buying student loans, car loans, credit card debt and any other “troubled” […]

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