Monthly Archives: November 2008

Public Safety Alert!


I tend to joke around a bit here and try not to take things too seriously, but this is one of those times I’m going to have to be entirely somber and put public safety above any selfish need for business as usual.

This is mostly for you men out there, and I’m using this space to pass along the information because the safety of my readers takes precedent over everything else.

This is just breaking from Yahoo News, and I’m using the same picture they used:

nullUganda’s police warned male bar-goers to keep their noses clean after a probe found a gang of robbers had been using women with chloroform smeared on their chests to knock their victims unconscious.

Investigators will file a full report as soon as they regain consciousness.

So, I repeat, if you’re traveling in Uganda and you see something like this…


…do not stick your face in it. Suppress the urge at all cost. Instead you are being asked to telephone Ugandan authorities.

And be aware that these cleavage chloroform bandits have already successfully targeted at least one American:



Below is some footage from an upper west side of Manhattan meeting of, post Obama victory. I’d call it a “strategy session” but that would be like referring to a Three Stooges movie “Shakespearean theater.”

Take the dumbest, most irritating meeting you’ve ever been involved in and then add a bunch of vacuous harpy liberal women and a leftist metrosexual with a nasty case of the Tofu farts running his fingernails down a chalkboard to the mix, and it would still only be halfway as annoying as this meeting.

My favorite parts are at about the 1:00 mark when the lady apparently expresses a hope that MoveOn will socialize the digital camera industry so she can get a free one paid for by somebody else (big surprise coming from the average Obama supporter), and at 2:00 when the heavy discussion about creating an Obama coloring book takes place.

The most frightening part if you’re a Republican? We lost to these people.

In the meantime, Monty Python should sue for copyright infringement:

Not Wild About Harry

CBS News’ Harry Smith was discussing the terrorist attacks in India when he either mis-spoke or made a Freudian slip. You decide.

Here’s what Harry said, via Newsbusters:

…they [terrorists] were perpetrating their attacks in the beginning, they were clearly, they said, were looking for British citizens, were looking for American citizens. Sadly, so many of the people killed were Indians.

I guess CBS News should start doing their morning show from India so next time the terrorists have more nationalities to choose from. Geez.

Update: Maybe this will make Harry a little less disappointed.

Happy Thanksgiving All

As the turkey and beer cunningly conspire to force me into a three-hour nap at four o’clock in the afternoon, and the Detroit Lions stumble and fumble their way toward a dozen losses and a still-perfect record, I wish you all a Happy Thanksgiving!

Being able to write is a blessing, but it wouldn’t mean a whole lot without those of you who stop by either frequently or just once in a while to see what’s going on in here, and for that I’m thankful.

In the spirit of this holiday, here’s one of my favorite scenes from the great Thanksgiving movie, Planes, Trains and Automobiles:

Update: No matter what your meal today is like, it was almost certainly better than what the astronauts on the space station are eating for Thanksgiving.

Update II: Timing is everything — while reading this article about the government bailout of Citigroup, the television was tuned to coverage of the Macy’s Day Parade in New York when I heard, “The Macy’s Thanksgiving Day Parade is brought to you by… Citigroup!”

A Choice Holiday Gift

nullPlanned Parenthood of Indiana is selling gift certificates.

This goes right up there with the National Organization for Women selling “Keep abortion legal” bracelets for Mother’s Day (nothing tells mom “Hey, thanks for not murdering me in the womb” like a NOW bracelet).

When I first read the Planned Parenthood gift certificate story, I wasn’t absolutely sure it was true, but yep, there’s a “Gift certificates now available” announcement right at the top of PP of Ind’s website.

Here’s the quote of the week so far:

“People are making really tough decisions about putting gas in their car and food on their table, so we know that many women especially put healthcare at the bottom of their list to do,” said Chrystal Struben-Hall, Vice President of Planned Parenthood of Indiana.

Is putting gas in your car or food on your table really a “tough decision”? You’d hope that getting an abortion would be a “tough decision,” but it isn’t if you’ve got gas and food to buy, I guess.

There’s something inherently wrong with using Christmas, a holiday that’s centered around the world’s most famous birth, to peddle “gifts” that can be used toward abortions. What’s next? Giving Mahmoud Ahmadinejad welcome mats as Hanukkah presents?

Just Because You Don’t See Shrimp on a Treadmill Nearly Enough These Days…

News flash: Healthy shrimp perform better on a treadmill than diseased shrimp.

Wait. Shrimp on a treadmill? Uh huh:

People actually get paid to think of these things. I went into the wrong line of work.

What they’re not showing you in the video is what’s just outside the tank that makes the shrimp run so fast, and it’s kind of cruel if you ask me. Somebody get PETA on the phone:


The treadmill trained shrimp will now head to Monaco to take on Usain Bolt in the 200m dash at the IAAF World Athletics Gala this weekend.

‘It’s Not a Good Thing’: Martha Stewart Horrified by Palin Turkey Slaughter

The feathers continue to fly over the big Sarah Palin turkey slaughter — Butterball’s answer to Little Bighorn. We can add Martha Stewart to the list of people who didn’t like it one bit.

If you missed it, the slaughter in question took place in the background of an interview of the Alaska Governor and woman who challenges the manhood of pencil-neck pantywaist Ivy league wussies everywhere. But enough about Keith Olbermann… he was only an agreeable guest on this particular Martha show.

Here’s the discussion about the carnage between two people who appear to forget that they’re on a cooking show:

Chill out, Martha — they were turkeys being killed, not ex-jailbirds!

Given the politics of these two limo-libs, substitute the turkey in the background with a Planned Parenthood building and suddenly the “unhumane slaughter” becomes a “deeply personal choice.”

The show Inside Edition caught up with the guy at the turkey farm in the now famous video. “Don’t mess with my governor” he said. They grow ’em different up there than they do in the Hamptons, and it’s fun to watch people like Steward and Olbermann try to figure them out.

Incidentally, Martha Stewart recently had Snoop Dogg on her show for a little Thanksgizzle Shizzle. Viewers got to hear all about prison food and life in the hood. Snoop did some talking too.