News flash: Healthy shrimp perform better on a treadmill than diseased shrimp.

Wait. Shrimp on a treadmill? Uh huh:

People actually get paid to think of these things. I went into the wrong line of work.

What they’re not showing you in the video is what’s just outside the tank that makes the shrimp run so fast, and it’s kind of cruel if you ask me. Somebody get PETA on the phone:

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The treadmill trained shrimp will now head to Monaco to take on Usain Bolt in the 200m dash at the IAAF World Athletics Gala this weekend.

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