U.N. vs. Asteroid: Bureaucrats in Spaaaaace!

There are a lot of asteroids out there that, if they collided with earth, could wipe out humanity — and maybe even Congress, too.

Apophis, for example, is expected to give the earth a brush-pitch in almost 30 years.

But worry not, because the a “United Nations Action Team” will meet in February to vote to construct an urgent memo to all member states calling for an immediate meeting to discuss forming a committee to organize a debate on the asteroid collision threat.

In the end, the U.N.’s “solution” will probably involve launching Jimmy Carter into space to intercept collision-course asteroids and make immediate conciliatory gestures. Keep your fingers crossed!