Here’s an upcoming event that a lot of people don’t hear about:

On Jan. 20, an unobtrusive military officer carrying a small leather-bound metal briefcase will follow President George W. Bush up to Capitol Hill. After the inauguration ceremony, he will accompany President Barack Obama back to the White House.

Inside the attache, known as “the football,” are the codes to identify and authenticate a presidential order that could launch nuclear weapons and ignite a global holocaust.

So, just in case Obama fumbles the football, here’s an interesting tool: Ground Zero. Just enter your city and hit “search.” Then at the lower left, choose a weapon and see if your house would be in a primary or secondary fallout area.

Sure, it’s a depressing game to play, but when you’re finished, just drop an Mk-28 on Berkeley and you’ll discover that there can be an upside to nuclear holocaust.

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