Virgin Auction Update

nullThe bidding for Natalie Dylan, who is about to become the first multi-millionaire off the word “virgin” since Richard Branson, is up to $3.7 million.

$3.7 million is a lot of money ($61,666 a second for the average male bidder to be exact), so the next obvious question is this: who in the world is bidding that much for a virgin? In this economy, it’s got to be somebody with a full stock of bailout money, like an AIG or Merrill Lynch executive.

Dylan is supposedly auctioning off her virginity, but, given her apparent shameless business acumen, why am I thinking that she’s going to write back to at least the five highest bidders and say…

“You won! Bring the $3.6 million and meet me at the LA Hilton on March 2nd.”
“You won! Bring the $3.2 million and meet me at the LA Hilton on March 3rd.”
“You won! Bring the $2.8 million and meet me at the LA Hilton on March 4th.”
“You won! Bring the $2.4 million and meet me at the LA Hilton on March 5th.”
“You won! Bring the $1.9 million and meet me at the LA Hilton on March 6th.”

Author: Doug Powers

Doug Powers is a writer, editor and commentator covering news of the day from a conservative viewpoint with an occasional shot of irreverence and a chaser of snark. Townhall Media writer/editor. MichelleMalkin.com alum. Bowling novice. Long-suffering Detroit Lions fan. Contact: WriteDoug@Live.com.