Iron Sulphate Dump: Is Germany About to Screw Up the World… Again?

Every few decades the Germans feel an overwhelming urge to do something stupid that screws with the rest of the world, and maybe it’s that time of the century. From the “This might not end well” file, we find this:

Germany dropped its opposition Monday to a controversial experiment to dump iron sulphate in the South Atlantic to see if it can absorb greenhouse gases and possibly help to halt global warming.
[…]
Scientists on board the Polarstern research vessel hope the release of iron will cause an exponential growth in phytoplankton, which will then absorb more carbon dioxide — the main greenhouse gas — through photosynthesis.

But opponents of the plan fear the consequences could be catastrophic. They are concerned it could cause the sea to become more acidic or trigger algal blooms that would strip swathes of the ocean of oxygen.

You can read more about the experiment here.

If the Germans are so anxious to study iron in the Atlantic ocean, why don’t they just examine the carbon dioxide levels in the water around all their old sunken U-Boats? That should keep ’em busy for a while. Even the Unicode symbol for iron sulphate sounds like a U-Boat number: U+26A8

The “experiment” that Germany just OK’d highlights a major concern over reactionary response that global warming panic can bring about: There’s a good possibility that the response to this panic (induced by “environmentalists” with vested financial interests ::cough::AlGore::cough::) will actually cause catastrophes worse than a problem that may not exist — like giving chemotherapy to somebody who hasn’t been proven to have cancer.

I’m off now to try and find out what percentage of the iron sulphate company is owned by Al Gore.

Worst Address Ever?

There was a piece in the New York Times last week about embarrassing names for places in England:

In the scale of embarrassing place names, Crapstone ranks pretty high. But Britain is full of them. Some are mostly amusing, like Ugley, Essex; East Breast, in western Scotland; North Piddle, in Worcestershire; and Spanker Lane, in Derbyshire.

Others evoke images that may conflict with residents’ efforts to appear dignified when, for example, applying for jobs.

These include Crotch Crescent, Oxford; Titty Ho, Northamptonshire; Wetwang, East Yorkshire; Slutshole Lane, Norfolk; and Thong, Kent. And, in a country that delights in lavatory humor, particularly if the word “bottom” is involved, there is Pratts Bottom, in Kent, doubly cursed because “prat” is slang for buffoon.

From the article, here’s what could possibly be the worst address ever:

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We should make a similar road here in the U.S. encircling Capitol Hill so Congress can finally have an appropriate address.

In spite of these relatively funny names, my favorite road name is right here in Michigan, as evidenced by the now semi-famous exit sign located on I-96 just 90 miles east of where I’m sitting:

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Nation Suffering Irony Shortage

nullThe United States is in danger of running out of one of its most precious commodities: Irony.

The reason? Constant strip-mining of the formerly common humor mineral by both current and former politicians means that private-sector irony, such as that displayed with the billboard placement to the left, is on the verge of extinction.

Recent examples of the government’s callous hoarding and burning of our nation’s irony supply include the following:

–Bush said a few weeks ago that he must abandon free market principles in order to save the free market.

–Al Gore’s Senate testimony on global warming, scheduled to take place tomorrow, may be cancelled due to ice and snow.

–The U.S. Detention Camp at Guantanamo Bay, Cuba will be closed at some point because Democrats say prisoners there are being tortured, but the prisoners won’t be sent back to their respective countries because they’ll be tortured.

–A tax cheat is going to be Secretary of the Treasury.

–Those who are charging themselves with cleaning up the planet left the Washington Mall strewn with garbage after the inauguration of the savior of all socialist mankind.

–Nancy Pelosi, stressing the importance our children’s health, defended the possibility of spending hundreds of millions of dollars of stimulus money to provide, in part, abortions (the iron-clad liberal logic here being that dead kids are less likely to get sick).

–President Obama cares deeply about taking care of my family while his own half-brother lives in squalor in Kenya.

My inside-the-beltway sources, who would normally be located outside-the-beltway but they can’t afford the irony, tell me that our only hope for getting Washington to cut their irony use would be to inform them that irony causes global warming. Al Gore plans to do this as soon as he gets off his private jet to tell everybody to cut their greenhouse gas emissions at a global warming meeting that may be cancelled due to snow.

When will we run out of irony? One irony economist told me in confidence that an irony shortage can be almost impossible to spot. “The ironic thing about an irony shortage is that, when it’s all gone, you have more of it than ever.”

The government has vowed to work tirelessly to get us to that level.

Obama Family Lawbreakers Get Diplomatic Immunity (Update: Not Any More)

Have you ever heard of non-government officials and non-diplomats getting “diplomatic immunity”? Now you have. I call this Hopelomatic Immunity:

A rule quietly imposed by the Bush administration right before Barack Obama was elected president remains in place.

It requires immigration agents to get approval from higher-ups before arresting fugitives in cases where the arrest might generate what Homeland Security terms “negative media or congressional interest.”

The department’s directive was issued October 31st, hours before The Associated Press disclosed the illegal status of Obama’s aunt from Kenya.

So if you happen to be a relative or friend of President Obama and you find yourself in some legal trouble, do not panic! Simply call the Department of Homeland Security, who will in turn call President Obama. After you’re issued one of these shirts, the entire country will be your own personal safe house:

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Don’t worry, Auntie Onyango — they make ’em for women, too!

At least Obama’s aunt can stop running now:

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Update: Start running again, Auntie! The AP has issued a correction and is now saying that the “must have high level approval before arresting” rule was lifted weeks after the election and is no longer in effect.

Pelosi Defends Stimulus Money for Planned Parenthood

Here’s a short clip of Nancy Pelosi on ABC’s “This Week” program yesterday, where she did her best impression of a government official from Red China. Pelosi was defending giving hundreds of millions of dollars to “family planning services” as part of the “stimulus package.”

The Speaker’s bottom line: Fewer children reduces the cost to the state.

And fewer politicians like Pelosi reduces the cost to the children.

By the way, when Pelosi says “contraception,” we all know what she means:

Creepy Science Story of the Day: Mengele’s ‘Twin Town’

There’s an interesting read in the Telegraph today about Joseph Mengele, Auschwitz’s “Angel of Death” who was charged, in part, with “carrying out experiments to discover by what method of genetic quirk twins were produced – and then to artificially increase the Aryan birthrate for his master, Adolf Hitler.”

After the fall of Nazi Germany, Mengele fled to South America. In the early 1960’s, he often visited a town in Brazil called Candido Godoi, posing as a vet and also offering medical assistance to women there.

Here’s where it gets weird:

For years scientists have failed to discover why as many as one in five pregnancies in a small Brazilian town have resulted in twins – most of them blond haired and blue eyed.

According to the story, on average, only about one in 80 pregnancies results in twins. Was Mengele carrying on his master’s work long after Hitler killed himself?

The Mengele story reminds me of “Bubba Town,” the hamlet in Arkansas where one out of every five kids looks like Bill Clinton:

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