I Never Did Like Chimpanzees

The horrible chimp attack in Connecticut (911 call here) that left a woman severely disfigured brought back memories of my childhood — without the disfigured part.

When I was a kid some friends down the road kept, for a brief period of time, a chimpanzee as a pet. It wasn’t nearly the size of the one that mauled the woman a couple of days ago, but even still, I never went near the thing. There was something about it, no matter how docile it appeared. The feeling I got from it was that the chimp could, at any time, turn out to be like the guy who you see on the news who was “quiet and always paid his rent on time” — who then killed a dozen people.

I knew there was a reason I never went near that damn chimpanzee. To the best of my recollection, the worst thing it ever did was to latch on to my friend’s head and, in one brief, hilarious fit of primate/human attraction, it tried to skull-hump him. But that’s just one step away from a sequel to Face/Off.

Hopefully the woman who owned the killer chimp is held responsible and people are taught a lesson that “you can take the chimp out of the jungle, but you can’t stop it from trying to eat you if it feels like it.”

Unrelated update: I have a new relatively brief blog post at the American Thinker: ‘Fairness’ for fun and mostly profit

Author: Doug Powers

Doug Powers is a writer, editor and commentator covering news of the day from a conservative viewpoint with an occasional shot of irreverence and a chaser of snark. Townhall Media writer/editor. MichelleMalkin.com alum. Bowling novice. Long-suffering Detroit Lions fan. Contact: WriteDoug@Live.com.