Banks are doing so badly these days that when you open a new account, you have to give them a toaster (rim shot) — but thankfully, the government is here to, uh, help.

The Treasury Department will announce this morning that the Federal Government’s stake in Citi Bank will rise to 40%. (Update: it stands at a 36% share as of now)

Uncle Sam taking over banks — great idea. The government has proven that they’re so good with money that it’s only natural that they should be running banks. Why is the government interested in taking over banks? Because, as Willie Sutton said, “that’s where the money is.”

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