Faith ‘n Be-Gore-ah: ‘Green’ Your St. Patrick’s Day

Here’s an article about how to have a “greener” St. Patrick’s Day. These people sound like lots of fun, don’t they?

“I’d like to propose a toast…”

“‘Toast’… that’s what we all are if the oceans keep rising due to climate change!”

To save you a click, the six things you can do are 1) drink local beer, 2) don’t throw anything away, 3) eat vegan, 4) have a clothing swap party, 5) no lights, and 6) work from home the next day.

Let me get this straight… We’re supposed to drink home brew, wallow in our own garbage and eat cabbage in the dark and then wake up in somebody else’s clothes before calling in to work hung-over? My people have been doing these things on this day for hundreds of years, and now some twirpy enviro-weenie comes along and actually thinks he thought of something new?

Heck, we even walk in our parade while Al Gore is taking private jets to climate change summits, so spare me the preaching, greenfellas.

A couple other ways to “green” your St. Patrick’s Day would include…

–Vomit only in a re-usable burlap bag, and if possible share your bag with others
–Use spinach to make your beer green instead of earth-unfriendly artificial dyes
–Insist police drive you to jail in a hybrid vehicle

Happy St. Patrick’s Day all!

Author: Doug Powers

Doug Powers is a writer, editor and commentator covering news of the day from a conservative viewpoint with an occasional shot of irreverence and a chaser of snark. Townhall Media writer/editor. alum. Bowling novice. Long-suffering Detroit Lions fan. Contact: