TOTUS has been pre-loaded with a speech for the president to choose to deliver while he’s in France next week for the 65th anniversary of the D-Day landing.

Due to lax computer security that’s been a trademark of politicians of late, someone managed to get their hands on the speech, excerpts of which are presented here.

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Place: France — June 6, 2009
Occasion: D-Day Anniversary/Muslim outreach
Theme: “These are the boys of Pointe du Hope”

nullSixty-five years ago, right here in France, over 160,000 men, 5,000 ships, 10,000 aircraft, and thousands more mechanized tools of war requiring hundreds of thousands of gallons of fuel converged on a 50-mile stretch of shoreline and precipitated battles we still find ourselves engaged in today: climate change and beach erosion.
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D-Day was a community outreach program unprecedented in scope and unmatched in hope.
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Fellow citizens of the global community, we’re here to honor the tens of thousands of men who made the ultimate sacrifice on this hallowed ground so a woman’s right to choose shall not perish from the earth.
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These men came from all different backgrounds and belief systems: Christian, Muslim, Atheist, Islam, Mormon and more Muslims — but all had one common goal: Common goals. Without common goals, change is not possible, and it’s upon this change that common goals are achieved, provided that’s our common goal.
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You veterans who have seen those pictures of me in Hawaii know that I too have also taken a beach by storm (pause for laughter).
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Though some of you may view me — the president of the only country to ever use nuclear weapons against another nation in what might possibly be the greatest over-reaction in history — as being a perpetrator rather than a liberator, I’m here to tell you… that’s a view I’m willing to sit down and discuss at length.
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We thank the people of France for their understanding. It’s been said that U.S. forces, via friendly fire incidents, killed more French civilians than the Nazis did, and yet you welcomed us today with open arms when it would have been easy for you to clench your fists toward America. I ask the world to look upon France as a shining beacon of tolerance. Never before in history has a nation so selflessly accepted liberation from tyranny.
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Under my unilateral disarmament plan, if there ever is another D-Day, nobody will be killed because there won’t be any weapons to discharge. That’s a war everybody can live with.
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But no matter how horrific the deeds of the Nazis, we cannot turn a blind eye to the actions that may have precipitated those deeds. We must always be prepared to take an honest personal inventory in order to weed out that which may anger others, giving them no option other than war.
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It’s important to note here that German troops taken into custody by the United States were not waterboarded, as Bush and Cheney would have ordered.
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Let us not forget that some good arose from the ashes of World War II: The United Nations. Without those people we labeled as “enemies,” the U.N. may not have been organized so rapidly. Let this be an example for generations to come that even those who we may label as “madmen” or “despots” still have something to offer the global community. Just because the clam might have a rough, hard shell doesn’t mean you won’t find a pearl in there.
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But mistakes were made. D-Day was entered into without an exit strategy, and sometimes the best exit strategy is not to enter into something in the first place, as the ongoing war in Iraq tells us each and every day.
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The lesson of D-Day is clear: All diplomatic avenues must be exhausted before military action becomes an option. If someone during this time of strife could have managed to successfully negotiated with the Nazis, countless lives could have been saved, and it may have prevented the Allies from mercilessly firebombing Dresden. My uncle had already liberated the death camps, so that was no longer a concern.
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These are the boys of what I call Pointe du Hope.
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Hey, has anybody seen the Queen? I got her another iPod loaded with more of my speeches.

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